I talked to Sharon today re C's MC stuff and found out what she's entitled to. There were code names and numbers and such, but it turns out she's been OK'd for everything they cover. Woot! It's such a relief to me to know she's going to get assistance! She's got medical, dental, vision, mental health, etc now and I couldn't be happier. I've felt rather helpless since June last year because what she's got to deal with is way over my head and abilities to really do anything about.

Work was Ok today. Well, I must admit to being fed up to the back teeth with a certain person being late nearly every day. And then they make a comment that they're only late because they were told not to come early once. Yeah, right. Pull the other one, it's got bells on it. Just waiting for her to say she's not coming back from lunch because it's light in the afternoon. Mark my words. And she's too dumb to know what she should deal with and what she shouldn't. Hmmmm... You'd think with all her education she'd have a clue about that. Silly me.

::::dreaming of being done with the houses and all their problems::::

The puppies got me up bright and early and I sure wasn't ready to be up.  I had to do something and stumbled into the bathroom (maybe to pee, I really don't remember) and stubbed the hell out of the toe I dislocated last Spring.  That distracted me from the fact that I ripped an inch wide swath of skin off the underside of my big toe!  Ouch!  It didn't hurt at first and then it just burned a bit, but tonight it's hurting like hell and there's not much else I can do about it.  At least I don't think so.  I know, I know, there's so many people who are enduring far greater hurts, but at this moment in time, it's all I can think about!  I mean, it hurts right now like it's infected or something.  Geez!  I'm such a wuss. 

PS:  Hi V!  Glad you've got back online!

. . .Is that you don't want to go back to work when they're over.  I was supposed to go in Fri, but just wasn't feeling like it.  I kinda feel like our best efforts are ignored and anything extra we do is only for ourselves instead of for the ofc.  Bossman doesn't seem to acknowledge when we do that extra bit unless it's something phenominal he can't ignore.  Then I volunteered to take half of today off because we were light on pts this morning.  Doesn't make me want to go in this afternoon, I can tell ya!  So, even with all this time off I'm still feeling a large bit of apathy.

I'm still having problems with the new v3.  I know I'm not alone and that makes me feel better, and it's not like I've lost the amount of work others have, but it's frustrating.  I don't like that clicking on someone's name doesn't just take you to their blog.  If I wanted to worry about their profile, I'd click on that after reading their blog.   I miss the directory.  That's how I found almost everyone I know on Mindsay.  I really, really liked the state by state lookup and the int'l one as well.  I sure hope they bring that back if nothing else.  And I really did prefer clicking on the replies and going to a new page where you could read them all at once as opposed to reading 4-5 at a time.  Just my opinion, YMMV.  I did find the little lightbulb to make my blog visible to anyone so ppl don't have to log in just to see what drivel I'm feeling like spewing out. 

Poor little T-man just looked over to see if he could get into my lap.  He's turning into quite a little lap dog, but I don't have an available lap at the moment.  T-girl is getting so fat!  I can't believe how fat she's getting when she is just as active as her brother.  I don't think she eats anymore than he does, so I'm at a loss to explain her weight gain.  I know she was spayed a month ago, but she was fat before then.  Not sure what to do about it.  How can I get her to lose weight?  I know we should all take more walks, but it's far too hot out there for all of us unless I got up at 6am to walk them and myself.  I just don't see that happening.  I'm sure it's something I should get in a habit of when the weather cools down.  Something to do after work.  Maybe it would diffuse some of my frustrations there.

My little algae eater fish is suffering from the smaller tank I've put him in.  He's now in with my betta and a little african dwarf frog and I thought they'd all live in harmony.  The betta doesn't seem to ick on him or anything but he's very unhappy.  He swims around and around and around in circles against the plastic of the tank.  Kind of like you see bears and big cats do when they're in a zoo and have mental problems.  I've never seen this problem in a fish before.  He's only about an inch long, so it's not that he's too big for the tank.  Ah well.  My fish is mental.

C seems to be feeling better.  At least I'm not getting the vibe that she's going to kill me in my sleep right now.  We're both  between a rock and a hard place it seems in regards to this situation, and hormones don't help at all.  I just wish she were better able to communicate her feelings and how she's doing rather than retreating to her room or clamping down on me. 

My poor toe is still v, v sore, but not as bad as last night.  I wonder how it's going to feel after 3hrs of running around with pts this afternoon?

C is feeling ever so slightly better.  Better able to communicate what is going on in her head and her therapy.  That's a very great help!  Her therapist has taught her that she's still stuck in a child's mindset w/out the maturity to go with her years.  I guess that would make her emotionally stunted in simplistic terms.  OK.  I can understand that intellictually, but when I'm in the middle of dealing with her in a regressive state I have a V hard time of it.  I guess I need to do more reading in the eggshells book and get my mind around some of the concepts.  Thank goodness for L and her ability to look at things and clear the fog for us. 

Work is going to be outta hand in the morning.  I should be asleep.  We've got so much to do and so little time to do it.  Oy!  I just wanted to post about our brief talk.

She worked hard on the various images and such for me and I really appreciate it. Thanks! I'm very tired and my feet hurt terribly, but I don't seem to get tired as early as I have before. Maybe it's the can of Coke I've been giving into at dinner the past few nights. I have felt some caffeine effects from it. Nothing like what K goes through when she has caffeine! Whoa! She is pretty wild when she's tanked up.

 I'm pleased with some of the changes I've seen on MS lately. I like that clicking on a friend's name takes me to their blog instead of the choice box. Now I wish they'd fix the problem of viewing comments in Netscape and I'd be on the road to happy for sure! I noticed something else earlier, but can't remember what it was now. Oh well, at least they're working on the stuff we've complained about. Maybe they should have run their beta for a little while longer? Oh! No HTML stuff on the Blog pg to make my entries more interesting.

C insisted that I Henna her feet tonight. I managed one and was so disgusted with my feeble attempt at artwork I couldn't manage anything for the opposite foot. I'm serious. My sisters C and K got all the artistic qualities. I can follow most instructions for needlework, crochet, knitting, lacemaking, sewing, etc, but Please, don't ask me to draw, paint, or doodle! I'm sure it doesn't occur to her how awful I find it to try to "be artistic" or how far off base she is when she states "just do it, it's easy!". I should remind her how easy it is pigs to fly.

I can't believe another hurricane is headed for FL. Until a few years ago, I had no connection to anyone in the state, but now my birthmom and two sisters and their families are living there. I shall be watching the storm anxiously all weekend. I downloaded a thing called WeatherBug with the new v of AIM and I can't believe how much I'm checking on that stupid thing now! it even shows the storm track of Ivan. Nothing like a bit of tech to add to my OCD.

Damn. I had 3 pieces of pizza for dinner and now I've got the munchies something awful. It's just not fair to be hungry this late at night. And if I down a bunch of water to try to fill myself up, I'll end up getting up in a couple of hours to go to the bathroom.

I got a call from the dealership yesterday saying the check hadn't arrived from the CU and what was going on. Um, they were supposed to have the check by last Tue, wtf? So I called and got the tracking number and called them back again and the finance lady said yeah, sorry we did get the check on Tue, but no one told me. Nice way to run a business. Cash a check and don't tell anyone who it was from or what it was for?

We're going to be closed to pts for three weeks in Oct and I'm wanting to get a really ugly freckle taken off my face during that time. I'm still waiting to get a consultation to even let me know if it can be done without leaving some horrible white mark instead of the thumbnail sized brown spot that's there now. Geez, I'm rambling now. Must get munchies and go to bed.

I cannot believe it's been 3 years sinc that awful day.  I only knew about what was going on in NYC because of the radio I had on that morning.  I turned on the TV to confused announcements about a the WTC, and really zoomed in pictures of the towers smoking.  Hubby was on leave and watching the TV with me.  We saw the first tower collapse and then the second.  I cried.  I cried for those poor souls in the buildings and for our country and for myself.  Hubby's leave was cancelled so he could go in and work with the increased Threatcon at the base.  I cried and cried the whole way to work.

I'm such an idiot.  Such a "good worker".  I go in when the shit is hitting the fan in my world..  When most ppl would call in and say, nope, not today.  I don't know why.  It's not like I got anything for it.  No kudos for going in and working on patients like nothing was changed in me or our world. 

For days and weeks I was glued to the TV and radio trying to find out what had happened and why.  Did they find anyone still alive at the Pentagon or in the WTC?  Were there any miracles to come out of this horrible day?  I couldn't get out of my mind the dreadful images of people in the Towers looking out the windows for help or just air to breathe.  I also couldn't forget that they eventually plunged to their deaths with the Towers.  I cried and cried and cried. 

The patriotism of America soared after those horrible events in NYC, Pennsylvania and Washington DC.  It was ulifting to my soul that we pulled together for a change, that the rest of the world seemed to mourn our losses with us.  Is that patriotism still there?  Will it take another tragedy of that magnitude for us to pull together again? 

On a personal note, it took the stress of Sept 11th to make me finally see that I have had a lifetime problem with depression.  I was so disturbed and upset I suffered from severe, unrelenting headaches, an out of control anxiety level (just the sight of increased security at the main gate of the base sent my heart thundering for hours), I cried constantly about anything and everything, I would sleep all hours of the day if I wasn't at work, and when at work I was completely paranoid that everyone was talking about me and plotting my demise and my startle reflex was off the scale.  It was just insane.  I went to the Dr for the headaches and he suggested I get therapy.  I denied having a problem, but duitifully went to see the therapist and filled out the questionnare. . .  I couldn't believe how many of the symptoms I had (and have had to some degree my whole life).  It seemed impossible to me that I would suffer from mental illness regardless of the family history of it in my birth and adoptive families.  It was one thing for me to support my sisters in their illnesses but impossible that I would need to see a mental health professional.  That was fine for others, but not for me.  Thank goodness I got that wakeup call.

Now, I hope the September 11th attacks will continue to be a wake up call for the US and the rest of the world. 

May the Gods bless and comfort those who died so horribly 3 years ago.   May they also grant peace and comfort to their families and friends.

Depression as a word has been used too many times by people who are just under the weather or momentarily sad for whatever reason.  There are many in the community who truly suffer from depression and other disorders.  I've been a depressive my whole life, but only recently diagnosed.  Anyone else out there?

I figured I should make another entry so my annoying LOTR thing will wonder off the page.

My sinuses are still congested and I think they're conspiring to get infected.  I'm getting a frog in my throat and it's irritating the hell out of me.  I don't need a cold on top of the crap I went through last week.  This is so NOT fair!  Ah well, I haven't taken my meds for today, so maybe that will help a bit.

K's days off this cycle are really sucking ass.  Yesterday was his first day off and he still had to go in and work an event because his flight was off and they needed the support.  Then, tomorrow, he has to go in for a court case because some woman thinks being drunk off her ass and assulting ppl is OK and she should be compensated for it.  Stupid ppl scare me to death.  The way the system works for them, they're going to end up ruling the world and the rest of us are going to have to sit back and wonder why we didn't put a stop to it.

C groomed the puppies last night.  Now they're nearly naked!  But my little girl's fur was so nappy and flyaway that she got lots of mats if we weren't combing her every day and my little dude has an odd texture to his coat that I'm not sure what's going on with that.  Anyway, now I have puppies running around that are all legs and teddy bear heads!  They seem happy with the change, but I wonder if they're going to get cold with the Fall coolness at night.

Damn, I thought K was taking care of things in EM, but apparently not.  Crap.  We've really got to get that place rented out, but I don't see him ever getting the time off to take care of it.  Peachy.  I'm beginning to think if I don't take these tasks over they'll never get done.  I sit back and wait because they're not really MY responsibility, and nothing is in my name.  But, like many things, if I don't start the process, nothing will happen and I'll get more grief from family members wanting to know why nothing's done.  Crapola.

Ah well, off to find out what I can accomplish today.  We're celebrating our 18th anniversary today because of K's court shit tomorrow.  Of course neither of us is feeling particularly well, so dunno what we're doing yet.

Lucky V gets to fly home tomorrow for 3 weeks. I am envious of her getting away to sun and fun while we are stuck in the ofc until Dr goes on his trip. Dr has made sure we're going to be booked to death tomorrow and Thurs.  I know those schedules for sure are sucky already and the rest of the week I'm sure isn't going ot be any better.  Nothing like adding a ton of BB's and such when there's only 2 of us.  It's also great that they've booked 5 chairs when we only have 4.  Peachy, huh?  I don't think so.  Ah well, I'm sure we'll survive, but I doubt we'll be happy in the process

I'm still having allergy and sinus problems.  My eyes itch and so do my ears. . . *cries*  And this is with medication.  Ah well, at least I'm not dying from the flu any longer.  Thinking back to how I was feeling just a week ago. . .  Whew!  I really shouldn't complain about how I'm feeling now.

K got me the Star Wars trilogy for our anniversary, so that's been occupying my time of late.  I can't believe it's been over 25 years since the first Star Wars came out.  The storytelling hasn't improved, but the swordfighting sure has.  One of the main reasons to watch the newest 3 movies of the series is the sword fighting.  Oh, and of course, to find out what turns Anakin into "more machine than man, twisted and evil".  The preview of the fight between Obi-wan and Anakin looks intense and it's only colored sticks and bluescreen.  Ah, nostalgia!    "Would it help if  I got out and pushed?"  "It might!"

C might actually get her car on the road this week or next.  Most likely next by the look of things.  She's finally got an appt with the car shop to get her smog and tune up and the AC fixed.  Then we're off to the DMV next week to get the registration updated.  And then she can drive HERSELF to her appts and such. 

Hey J!  It was nice talking to you!  I was hhoping we'd have a bit longer conversation, but I'm just happy to finally find out how you're doing.  I hope you managed to get a hold of V tonight.  Miss you, girl!

Ah well, I should get off here and get to bed.    LOL...  I'm watching the "behind the scenes" thingy for SW Ep I.  Ewan McGregor quote, "Do you want to do Star Wars, they said?  I said, too fucking right!"

I know I seem to only complain here, but damn, I'm tired and it's all I can think of at the moment.  We kept our heads above water today with Dr's efforts, Y's help and hard work.  That and another bunch of no-shows.  We've got it all worked out between us at the moment,  K does complicated stuff and I do records.  I dropped my BB to Dr and jumped on the records so K wouldn't have to.  She was cool with it, I'm sure. 

I'm looking forward to the two weeks of just doing cephs and being on call.  Then V will be back and maybe even D will show herself again.  We can maybe have some normalcy in our schedule again.  HA HA HA!!!  yeah, that was hysterical.

C is desperate to go to Faire in Vegas, but her friend has had some serious family shit happen and now C doesn't know where she can stay for the weekend.  Motel rooms are either all gone or astronomically expensive.  She's looking at a minimum of $280-$480 for her 3 day stay.  Can't be a good thing.  But I'm only supposed to make sure her bills are paid and expenses met and then she's supposed to be able to spend the rest at her descretion.  My current worry is that I keep the money aside until we find out how much her bill from the mechanic and DMV will be.  Then she can do what she wants with the rest.  I fear she will blow it on crap she doesn't really need and then she'll have nothing for her new apt when the time comes.  Ah well, what can I do?

Miss you, V.  Will you come and see what I've written while you're away?  Miss you J.  I hope we can get together some time.

No ownder I'm tired.  I can never get to bed at a decent hr.  (sigh)

I cannot believe how groggy I am.  It's insane!  I"m not sure if I awoke in a dream cycle or what is wrong to make me so sleepy.  Not only am I groggy, I'm short-tempered as well.  I did have v, v, v odd dreams last night, so maybe that has something to do with it.  I dunno what it is, I just feel like I could sleep another 3-5 hours and then, maybe, I'd feel a little more normal again.

The puppies are kinda outta control lately.  I'm not sure who put a wild hare up their ass, but it's there and making life interesting lately.  I finally realized they didn't have one of their chewies lately, so they haven't had any relief for their chewing urges.  Now, maybe, they'll settle down a bit. 

I've got errands to run and they're not going to get done if I take a nap. . .  Hmmm...  Seems like they might not get done if I don't take a nap, either.  A Quandry.  Boo.

Once again, C has informed me that she is too tired/uninspired/tired of the same things over and over to cook dinner for us. In previous breath, she informed me she was hungry. Now, I'm sure I've ranted about this before, but part of the agreement we had when she moved here a yr ago in June was that she was to do the cooking of meals because I am working full time and K was on an odd schedule (normal military shit). She also said she'd do the laundry because she "likes to do the laundry".  I saw no reason to have to come home from being highly stressed at work so I could load the dishwasher when she's home 100% of the time doing nothing.

Tonight she informed me that it's not fair that I'm wanting her to "do all the work around here" (oh, and don't let me forget that she wanted to take a nap when I got home and asked what was for dinner because she was so tired from her day and her therapy session). Let's see, I'm still having to do my own laundry. She's done it a few times, but nothing regular. I have to remind her that the dishes need doing and I'm not talking about a couple of cups or forks in the sink, I'm talking about dishes filling the sink and surrounding area and stove. Seems I'm an awful taskmaster. I keep reminding her that those were my tasks (amongst others too numerous to mention) when I didn't have have a job. This doesn't seem to appease her. I asked her if she thought she should sit home all day, doing absolutely nothing but her own laundry and sitting online while I'm at work so I can come home and do the cooking and the dishes. Her response was that she is experiencing confused thinking. Not hearing what I'm saying, just thinking that I'm saying she's a bad person.

I KNOW she's got Borderline problems, I KNOW she has problems identifying what I'm trying to say vs what she thinks I say, I KNOW she's hormonal. . . But, I also know this has been a slow slippery slope since late last year of her deciding it's too much for her to work around here.  I'm sure, in time, she'll have me doing her laundry as well as the rest of the chores.  I told her case manager that she was going to get like this.  I told her when C got her first approval letr from SSI.  She told me to stick to it and make sure I tell C that she has to keep up her end of the bargan.  Easier said than done when I worry every time we have a confrontation that she's going to wander off to her room and slice herself to ribbons because that's how she deals with emotional pain.

I've taken her into my home.  She promised me and my husband that it was only going to be for a month or so until she could get on her feet and it would by no means be a long-term stay.  She promised she'd help around here and cook dinner for when we got off work.  I took over when she refused to do anything further to get her scripts filled so she could have her Xanax.  I got in touch with all the mental health ppl in the county so she could get the paperwork she needed to get approval for assistance.  I downloaded the Medi-Cal forms and got her on the phone with the Soc Sec ppl so she could get some assistance.  It was like pulling teeth to get her to fill out and send in the forms because she was sure they'd turn her down.  It took the case mgr from the county to help me to get her to fill out the SSI forms and send them in.  I filled out and sent in all the paper work I was required to and allowed myself to be her rep payee.  I've disrupted my home life and irritated the hell out of my husband.  I've paid out I don't know how much money during this time. 

She projects me into the roll of Mother-figure and then gets infuriated when I tell her she's acting like a child or teenager.  Is this my karmic fate for not wanting to have kids?  Is this her karmic fate for not having a good childhood?  How can I make sense of the new role I'm being shoved into?

I have a tenuous grip on my own depression and anxiety and this pushes it to the limit.  The last week at work has been incredibly busy and we're short 2 ppl.  C is going back to her hometown and their Faire and she's not even acting happy about it.  Oh, and she's decided to borrow my garb and didn't even ask first. 

I've even asked her to read my blog here so she can have an idea what I'm thinking and feeling, but she doesn't have the time.  She's more interested in her online ppl and her fan fic journals.  Thanks for shit, C

*pulling hair out*

I did some more work in the kitchen today.  The microwave and the stove are looking much better.  Well, the insides of the stove are still coated in oven cleaner, but it's getting there.  All the stove burners are scraped and scrubbed from the accumulated grime of months of not being cleaned.  Just let the stuff that falls burn onto the burner and be done with it ain't cool.  Bleah.  The problem I have at the moment is I can only work as long as my feet or my tolerance to being hot will allow.  My feet just can't take standing on the kitchen tile for too long even with rugs.  I really, really, really need to tackle the floor, but yeesh. . .  Maybe I'll work on the fridge next.  C has somehow managed to make the handles look completely grimy.  Hell, even the stove handle had pudding dripped down it.  Oy!

Ants are invaiding again.  They went after the puppies' food this time.  I can't even tell where the damn things are coming in!  Now they're after something else and trooping across the carpet to get to it.  But when i look for where they're going, they just tend to disburse.  WTF?  I have put down ant goo for them and they seem to like it.  I hope it does it's job of killing off the nest.  Grrrr!  Now I have to figure out how to get the existing ants out of the food bin or decide whether it's better to just buy new food.  The bin is sealed and now sitting on my front porch.  Grumble!

I've not heard from C since she called on Thurs.  I assume that means she's not in trouble and is having a good time.  She said she was coming back today, but we'll see.  Faire goes through tomorrow so I kinda figured she'd stay through the whole thing. 

C called a bit ago saying she wasn't going to make it back today.  Then she sounded like she was going to come back tomorrow.  She sounds like she's having a good time and getting the things she wanted to get and having an experience w/B.  Then I asked if she'd made it to the DMV and she said not yet.  Um, you're not going to get in there tomorrow, so I don't think you're coming back tomorrow.  That girl worries me.  Really must tackle the rest of the stove.

Well, for one, I can't believe I've made this many entries today.  For the other, well.....

I told my dad about my birthmom and sisters tonight.  Mom called to give me grief for not calling my 1/2 brother.  I won't go into the whole drama about how much I don't care for him and how her telling me to call him makes me crazy, but wow, she's really pushing buttons today.  I called my dad to let him know what was going on and how she was likely to be in a foul mood.  He called me back and I mentioned how I was cleaning up after C's mess and he started giving me a bit of lip about it, so I told him that she's my sister.  He's the first family member I've told about my biological family.  To say the least, he was a bit flabbergasted.  I had vowed to not tell any of my family about my Search results after my mom had a meltdown when I told her I was Searching.  That was a BAD day. 

So, my dad was happy and interested and said he wouldn't tell my mom.  He had questions about my sisters and about my mom and said he was only mad because I hadn't told him sooner.  He made a comment that he would no longer worry that C was some stranger I'd picked up off the street who was going to kill us in our sleep. 

Well, if he does tell my mom, it'll be a great secret lifted from my shoulders.  If not, at least someone knows.  It's been a rather large burden to keep the secret for so long.

I can't help but wonder what the reprecussions of this day will be. . .

Really.  I've done alot of work today and the kitchen still looks like a bomb went off.   I'm sure fresh eyes would see it as looking better than I think it does.  My back is absolutely killing me! 

Changed furnace filter/vacuumed grate.

Cleaned oven.

Scrubbed/scraped stove burners and disks.

Vacuumed ants (oy)

Cleaned microwave.

Cleaned oven hood.

Load/Unload dishwasher.

2 loads of laundry.

Took out trash.

Watered lawn.

Cleaned car windows

Cleaned fridge front

Vacuumed plant spillage off kitchen floor.

Rearranged costco stuff.

Put away laundry.

Some floor pick up in random areas.

Dealt with my mom.

Told my dad about my bio fam.

Just a list for me to know I AM getting things accomplished so I don't beat myself up with negative thoughts.  If my back cooperates, I hope to get more done tomorrow/today.  I'm excited about what I've managed to do over the last few days, but am certain it's all going to be for naught since C won't have the same care and attn that I currently have. 

I'm hungry again!  That just ain't right.  I've eaten an entire can of bean soup and two pieces of pizza today.  I can't possibly eat more today!  I've had too much caffeine to fall asleep readily and since K's not home yet, if I do fall asleep I'll be even more hungry when he gets home.  *sigh*

Sorry for going on and on about all this.  It's become my OCD and I can't help myself....

I must be PMSing because I'm so bitchy, full of energy, and jonesin for anything chocolate.  I've been wanting a Ding Dong all damn day and I finally wandered off to the groc store for my DD fix, some B&J ice cream and some yoghurt. 

C didn't call today, so I'll assume that means she's staying through tomorrow to take care of the DMV title stuff.  I just hope she's saved enough so that she has enough for the paperwork.  Hopefully she'll give me a heads up when she leaves so I know when to expect her. 

I'm sure there will be several emergencies for me to deal with since it's been a weekend.  I think I'll unpack all the stuff from being in the other ofc instead of tracings.  I have some instruments to do from last week's emergencies, so it makes more sense to catch up on them. 

We'll see what tomorrow and this week brings.

I just heard on the news that he passed away today. 

I'm so sorry.  Rest in peace and wholeness.

And that just ain't right!  I mean, this is two days in a row that I'm wanting to eat at 11 at night.  Last night I gave in to the call of the taquitos and guacamole.  I just can't do that again tonight.  I did eat dinner.  Gave in to the siren song of the Ding Dong.  What's my problem??? 

My eye is really bothering me.  It feels very dry and scratchy yet it it waters constantly.  It's like when I was having problems in the spring and they said it was only allergies.  Whatever it is, it's making me nuts.  Moisture drops don't help and neither do the allergy drops I was prescribed.  Boo!

C didn't come back today.  She was on the road around 6 this evening and then her rear tire blew just outside Vegas.  Luckily she could limp to the exit and get to a phone to call B.  Then a bunch of ppl at the exit helped her change her tire so she could get back to Barbies.  So, she's going to get a new tire tomorrow morning and be on the road again.  I've GOT to remember to call her therapist in the morning and let her know to RS the appt.  Thank goodness she didn't spend all her money!  She said she's got 100 left, so that'll cover a tire.  How did she spend 400??!  Hmmmm...  Maybe I don't want to know...  At least she had a good time and that's what I was hoping for.

I get my first professional massage tomorrow afternoon.  I'm v, v, v excited!  K from work was supposed to have the hr after me, but she is camping, so has cancelled.  So now Theresa is going to give me 90 min for the cost of 60.  woot!!!  She said she does deep tissue therapy and I'm so looking forward to getting my ever-present knot worked out.  That and the recent problem arising from my cleaning this weekend.

Thank goodness for that.  Not that it's really made a difference for me having been off for the last week and a half.  But it is nice not having to worry if the gals up front are going to schedule me for some "emergency".  There's been at least 3 ppl who show up with their wires completely gone or cut off or something.  Then they want me to put a brand new one in and they're all specially bent by Dr and I can't replicate that.  They'll tell the ppl up front they have something poking them and then they'll show up and I'll look and there's nothing there.  Oh, my mom told me to cut it, or the dentist I saw today cut it off or you guys told me to cut it off if it was bothering me.  Uh, right.  I personally love the one who showed up and said they told her to cut the wire when she called a week ago.  Uh, no, I was there when she called and the girl told us that she couldn't make it for the time I would be there and Pam told her if it was really bothering her she could call again.  She finally shows up with no wire, two brackets gone and a huge attitude!  I remember putting this gal's braces on and she was a piece of work.  Big attitude and acting like we're killing her.  I've had 5 yr olds act more mature.  Her excuse that she couldn't come the week before was that she had kickboxing.  She's about 16 or 17 and I told her that she'd better get her priorities straight. 

Goodness knows what Dr is going to do when he gets back.  He usually gets on a roll with appliances for awhile after a trip.  I wonder if this will be the same.  I've gotten used to sleeping in and staying up late and now I should really start getting back to bed on time and up at a decent time so I don't die when Wed comes.

I finally got the carpet cleaner hooked up again today.  The clean water tank had broken when we took it in for the cord to be replaced and there were parts back orders, so it took over a month to get the part.  My dear girl has totally abandoned the thought that she should go on her pee pads and she's making a real mess of the carpet.  When I let her outside, she'll hold it until she can come back in!  Little dude is totally into the pee pads.  He hardly ever had a problem with it and he'll even go when he's outside.  My little girl is a total blonde!  So, I've had to work my ass off on the carpet in the bedroom today.  I've used special carpet shampoo, some enzyme stain remover and I plan on using some special stuff so she doesn't want to mess on the cleaned carpet.  We'll see how successful I am.  I might even put some cayenne down on some throw rugs over the favorite spots and see if that deters her from sabotaging my hard work.  Well, all I do know is that my arms are going to hurt tomorrow.

Now, during all my work on cleaning off all the puppies toys and beds and stuff from the floor, C happily sat on the puter.  I had to tell her to get off and out of the way so I could lift up the chair mat at the desk so I could get the cleaner under it.  She commented to me that I always get bitchy at ppl if they sit around while I'm working on stuff.  She's right, but is that a bad thing?  Doesn't more get done if more than one person is working?  There is so much that needs to be done in this house, but it seems to me that I am the only one who has any interest in getting things to look better.  Not perfect, but not such a mess like things are now.  C told me that she doesn't see things as being as urgent as I do.  That she doesn't see things as needing to be done.  Hubby tells me the same thing and at times I'm so fucking frustrated by this.  I'm going to end up having to mow the lawn because he hasn't done it in weeks.  I told C if I'm doing the mowing that she's going to do the edging.  She didn't seem enthused, but didn't flat out refuse or have a huge conversation over whether or why it needs to be done.  

C finally went in and swept and mopped the kitchen floor.  Well, most of it, anyway.  Now I need to figure out what task I'm going to assign to her tomorrow whilst I'm finishing up the floor and various other things in the bedroom. 

I'm watching the EE DVD of Aliens with the commentary right now.  I LOVE that sort of stuff.  I love hearing how stuff works and the behind the scenes stuff.  I loved Aliens anyway and now it's the director's cut and everything else!  What else did we see tonight.  Oh yeah, Nightmare on Elm St.  I'd never seen that before.  Yah, I know, what planet was I on.  I'm just not into gorey flicks.  I love scarey with a huge suspense.  My imagination does a better job for me than actually seeing intestines flying. 

Yay!  Hubby is home and it's "only" 12:45.  G'night.

I can't believe these two weeks of vacation are nearly spent.  How sad!  I still have so much to do around here, but lack the willpower or energy.  I started some laundry, but couldn't keep up with it.  I think I burnt up too much energy last week and now I'm burnt out.  The tumble weeds are still in the back yard because the wind picked up and would have just made them fly out the back of the truck again.  C has promised that she will take care of them when I'm back at work when the wind dies down.  That would be really, really great.  And if K would mow and edge the lawn it would be even better.

I'm wondering if C has an appt with the therapist tomorrow or not.  We're still supposed to have a family session, but that was supposed to be last week and C didn't call till today to check on it. 

It rained a little tonight and we let the puppies out to run in the grass out front.  It seems like they really enjoyed themselves.  They didn't act like they were going to melt like poor M used to.  Little dude ran around w/happy abandon.  He was quite the damp little guy.  My darling girl seemed to be a bit more reserved and didn't run quite as happily as he did.  Of course he's also the one who enjoys investigating sprinklers that are running and sprinting through them like he's a nut.

And what is my problem??  If it's junk food, I'll definitely eat it.  If there is nutritional value to something, I'll ignore it lately.  Give me chocolate or give me ice cream (sounds yummier than death).

Well, I guess I made a mistake in telling my hubby what direction I'm leaning towards for the election next mo.  Silly me, I thought there was free speech and freedom to vote, but he had a hissy fit!  He's been tellin me about his choice in the election for weeks, so I finally figured it was time to tell him we'd prolly cancel each other's vote and I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel or something.  Sheesh!  I guess I'll keep my opinion to myself from now on.  Grrr! 

My sinuses are really, really bugging me today.  So badly in fact, that I feel like I'm getting a cold.  Just in time to get back to work tomorrow.  I hope it's just an irritation from the change in weather.  I just don't want to be sick again so soon!

The rain has finally come to the Hi Desert.  It's been a very long time since we had any precip around here and it's much needed.  Unfortunately, this is typical Ca stuff.  No rain for too long and then too much all at once.  We've had so many fires around here over the spring and summer and now those areas are going to have mud slides (not the Good kind) and flooding.  The puppies got to frollic in the rain last night and it was quite funny to watch.  Now we're getting pretty sodden and play outside will be kept to a minimum.

We got our tax bills for the family properties K inherited and that's about going to kill us.  Of course we got the bill yest and it's due in two weeks.  I'm so not impressed.  Outta sight, outta mind for me.  I don't think about these things since I really don't think about those properties unless I have to.  I know K doesn't.  That's still going to end up in my lap because he's all for ignoring the problem and hoping it's going to go away.  He is happier immersing himself into his job so he doesn't have to deal with anything else.  Gods forbid you ask him to do something. . .  He'll jump on that job thing as quick as can be.  Of course it's also a problem that he can't multitask job/life at all.  It's either one or the other and don't ask him to mix the two.  My dad has found a guy who needs a place to live and is handy around the house.  He would fix up the yard and such in one of the houses for reduced rent.  I just KNOW I'm going to be the one who has to look into getting a rental agreement drawn up so that is covered in a contract and not just on a verbal basis.  i need to get out that book I got ages ago on rental properties.  Oy!

Sometimes I REALLY HATE being an adult.  It was much easier being a kid or even a teen ager, but you couldn't have told me such at the time.  I'm a bitter person when I think of the mess my inlaws left us.  They KNEW it, yet they did nothing about it but laugh.  Thanks for shit.  Really.

Oh, and to make my day complete....  I ordered what I thought would be an original copy of "The Little Mermaid", Disney Ver.  It was from a company affiliated with Amazon, so I figured it would be OK.  Um, no.  It's a pirated copy.  You can tell.  It's in a cheapy generic case with out the sleeve and a poorly printed copy of the cover.  I'll be calling them tomorrow and demanding a refund.  They described it as an original DVD.  Um, not hardly!

Work was pretty non-eventful.  Nothing really stressful besides just being there on such a beautiful day.  I'm very glad I didn't get the BB first thing this morning.  It looked pretty intense.

I was on my way home and talking to hubby when he tells me he got a mesg from C saying she'd gotten her truck stuck in the mud.  Excuse me?  Miscommunication?  Um, no.  She's gone out where they were filming last week and gotten her truck stuck in a 8' square of mud.  We tried wedging boards and such under the working wheel and that didn't work.  K had to get a tow rope and use his truck to get her out.  What a mess!  And during all this tugging and such, she left her door open and all the mud flying out of the wheels went right inside her truck!!!  OMG, what a mess!  She was also stomping around in the mud whilst trying to get the tire wedged and had mud nearly up to her knees.  It was quite attractive....  Not! 

I've had the worst time getting to sleep these last couple of nights.

Meh.  I dunno where my brains went last week, but I didn't feel able to articulate anything here.  Usually I have no trouble going on and on and on, but not last week.  Just stick me in a pot and let me vegetate.  That was last weeks motto.  Hopefully I won't be such a cabbage this week.

I can't believe it's Nov.  Where did the rest of the year go?  Is it flying by because 40 is staring me in the face this year?  Is it just because I'm getting older?  Anyway, it's zooming by at a rapid rate and I'm not ready for it.

I did go and vote on Tue.  Stood in line for over an hour to do so.  How on earth can they have so little preparation of the polls when they knew there would be record turn out for this election?  There were 12 little "booth" thingeys to sit at if you wanted "privacy" and a couple of tables against the wall if you didn't care.  I was about 1/2 the way through the line when they came out to mention that they'd had a voter turnout of 65% at 5PM and they were down to 200 ballots left at 6:00.  I didn't want to think about the scene that would erupt if they didn't have ballots for ppl who were in line for that long.  How do you not have enough ballots for the amount of registered voters in the area minus the absentee's?  I don't get it.

Poor K at work had to go to the deposition for her son's botched tooth exposure a few years ago.  She was a nervous wreck about it and I can't blame her.  That was Tue and, of course, G can't remember that she's gone and slacken up our schedule a bit.  She wants to add to our schedule when we don't have the chairs or assts.  Very irritating!

Little dude is curled up in my lap being quite a sweetheart.  Not exactly comfortable at this moment, but the price ya pay for such cuteness, right?

I am used to my brackets now, and the wires are better now with the sleeves.  It's still kinda strange and I'm not used to the colored ties V is insisting I have.  Of course when the clear ones turn neon green because I've eaten a salad it's a bad thing...  I changed from baby blue to baby pink yest and am not happy with the results.  I think I'll go put on some clear ones today.  One perk of having braces as an ortho asst....  new colors whenever I wish.

I finally got my massage on Wed.  It was lovely.  Only 30 min, but it did help my poor back quite a bit.  It's amazing the stuff those MT's can do.  She not only worked on that knot I've had for decades, but she found another knot on the other side of my back that I didn't even know existed.  Amazing!  She grabs one end of the muscle and then stretches the whole thing out with the other hand.  Beautiful.  My low back had been really bothering me, and it turns out it was my pelvis and not my back.  So nice to be able to bend down to pick something up w/out pain.  And she was right!  By her working out the knots and keeping them out I don't cramp up like usual.

It's another 5-day week for us and we're all feeling it.  I've got my hair appt for the 19th and my next massage that morning.  I can't wait!  A day without the job worries and to just be able to do stuff for me. 

C and I are going to visit w/V tomorrow since she's alone most of this weekend.  V's so funny!  She's not even bothered when C bites her cat on the tail!  

Ah well, enough ramblings from me.  My head's hurting again.  Boo!

Sometimes I really miss the livejournal mood thingeys.

Today was pretty ugly.  We had to deal with a a really odd pt this morning.  Older, rather weird, needed very much hand holding to keep her happy.  This makes me rather antsy and angst filled and I ended up getting into a verbal disagreement w/Dr about how hard it is for the 3 of us to just drop what we're doing to get stuff out of the back.  All problems with everything are because we don't jump back there at 6 min.  Oy!  So there were all sorts of weirdos out and about hand half were our pts.  Ppl overdoing appliances and looking very odd indeed. 

C had a problem earlier this week w/the garbage disposal.  It was jammed w/something that seemed nonremovable.  Then she got the problem worked out, but the damn sink leaked at the flange.  Crap!  So after my crap day at work, I picked up the new stuff for the disposal and got a new faucet while I was at it.  The old one was starting to leak and had already had a replacement head that didn't quite fit.  It took me a couple of hours and much pain and strain and a trip to the hardware store, but I got them both installed.  And no leaks!  The worst parts were getting the old faucet off and trying to get the disposal back onto the sink.  Those damn things are heavy!  C had to hold the damn thing up while I tried to get it reassembled.  I have a new respect for plumbers.  But, hey, I did all that work w/out a butt crack to be seen!  LOL!!

Anyway, I'm feeling accomplished.  I was too worn out to put everything back under the sink.  I guess that will be a good incentive later so I can get rid of some of the stuff that's accumulated there.  And boy, is there alot!!!  Holy crap! 

I'm watching Chicago on cable at the moment.  I'm not terribly impressed.  What was all the brouhaha about this movie?  What am I missing?  I mean I like hearing the vocal abilities of Catherine Zeta Jones.  I didn't realize Richard Gere could sing.  But it's an icky sort of singing voice.  Oh well, I suppose there's something I'm just missing with the movie.  At least I can say I saw it now, whatever that's worth.

Scott Peterson convicted.  I do believe he killed his wife.  Too many coincidences to be explained away.  Too much dirt on his hands and in his life..

Munchies are attacking me.  Must flee.

I blame the steam vac.  I started the weekend long carpet cleaning sprint.  My puppy girl does quite a number on the bedroom carpet and it is quite a job to try to fix it again.  Last time I used the nice, lavendar shampoo because it made the room smell very nice, but she thought it smelled too nice and promptly made it smell bad again!  This time I'm using the enzyme products that don't smell so nice, but I think it will make her stay away for awhile.  Maybe....

I'm still very proud of my sink work.  I have to resist the urge to turn the faucet on when I walk by.  What a geek!  It's only a faucet.  It's not like a poured a patio or anything.  HA!  You'd never shut me up if I managed something like that!  LOL!!!

Oh good, the generic Excedrin is taking effect. 

The "kids" are nestled in my lap.  Well, can you call it a lap if you're sitting X-legged in front of the laptop?  I do love it when they're both being so sweet and calm.  I didn't think she would be a lap puppy.  He's always been rather lap oriented.  I guess she's figured out it's rather warm and comfy to be snuggled up.

Tomorrow really needs to spent working on the living room/diningroom.  I've ignored it for far too long and it's looking out of control.  There's no way to get a tree up if I don't do something.  How did I get to be such a bad housekeeper?  Both of my mother's are neat freaks, so I've had example and genetics to guide me towards being neat and I'm just not there.  I wonder if it's part of my other psychological problems?  Is there such a thing as a disorder for those who don't like to clean much? 

I neve get to see my husband anymore.  And when we do see each other, we're kinda comatose.  We hardly ever have the same days off, and when we do, he usually has to go to base for something, and that usually takes at least half the day.  If nothing else, I'm hoping we get to spend time together next month be it on the cruise or not.  Just us, no base, no C, no stupid troops calling, no opposite schedules!!!

And in closing, a thought about those stupid Onstar commercials.  If you listen to the commercials, over 3/4 of them are ppl asking for their doors to be unlocked.  They got Onstar on their cars and not keyless entry??  WTF?  Stupid ppl!

C showed me a really cool site with a mindless toy.  I don't remember how to make a link, so here's the addy

http://www.permadi.com/java/spaint/spaint.html

Have fun!

I hate it when things are like this.  I hate it when all I want is some assistance around here and no one wants to help.  It was one thing when it was just K who was always gone.  Who, for awhile at least, would help with the laundry and such.  Now I've got C who is always around yet doesn't want to do more than absolutely necessary, and sometimes not even that much.  She says it's unfair that when I'm working, I expect her and K to do something around here as well.  Well, yeah, I do.  The rest of the time, she's doing just enough to keep the kitchen from being completely overrun by dishes.  The stove is, again, filthy.  I cleaned it to within an inch of it's life last month and it hasn't been done since she got back from Vegas.  I bust my ass at work all week, and I'm expected to still do all the cleaning around the house on the weekends.  I guess I feel that's unfair of her.  K sleeps the first day of his break away and then the other two days are spent doing whatever he wants.  He'll give me lip service about what he's going to accomplish in the mess that is the garage, but it doesn't happen.  When it's the last day of his break and he's sitting at the computer doing nothing I feel compelled to give a reminder.  That's never well received.  I'm supposed to just take the promises and the lack of motivation and never get upset.  HA, I'm a fire sign and I get upset over everything.

There's a crap-ton of shit in the livingroom, diningroom and hall and it's 95% K's.  Just like the garage is about 90% his.  What am I supposed to do?  How am I supposed to NOT be mad at them?  Is this one of those Cognative Therapy things or am I justified?  K's done nothing in the livingroom since I was going through my cleaning spree after we got back from FL.  How am I supposed to take care of everything in the house when the crap is his?  If I make a command decision and throw it out, there's going to be WWIII.

No matter what I do I cannot win.  If I do all the work, I'm angry and resentful and tired.  If I wait for help, nothing will ever get done and I'll be angry and resentful.  If I yell at them for help, they'll be angry and resentful, and I'll be angry and frustrated and vent to you poor ppl.  Life was easier when I was a stay at home mom to our last fur kid.  Poorer but easier.  Now I'm supposed to take care of the home crap and still do the 40 hrs at work.  I'm not superwoman.  I can't cope!

Feedback with any ideas on how I should try to cope with this would be greatly appreciated.

Too many ppl booked into too short a time makes for a hectic afternoon of running around like a headless chicken or sitting around w/nothing to do.  It sounds strange, but if you lived it, you'd understand.  One poor gal sat there for over 90 min.  It was ugly.  I hate days like that. 

I took off my wire yest so I could brush and put new ties on.  Yeah, that was a mistake.  I'm having serious pain issues all day and now my bite has changed.  This seems very odd to me because I made no adjustments to the wire at all and I'm not using really strong ties. 

I had the weirdest dream last night.  Somehow I was another person.  Not only that, I was a pretty young thang and a Vampire.  Only not the goth type in pale skin and fangs.  Much more mundane than that.  Ritzy clothes and cars and such.  I knew we were in a vampire society, but there was no neck biting or anything else like that to validate this knowledge.  I was desperately wanting to make a baby vampire with my lower caste and newly wed vampire husband, but my family didn't approve of him and were kidnapping me before anything could happen.  It was a Very interesting dream.  All sorts of intrigue and back stabbing.  I wonder what it means when you are dreaming yourself into a strange body and odd circumstances?  I don't remember such a vivid dream happening in a long time.

Legs and such are feeling better.  They still ached horribly this morning, but got better as the day wore on.  Or maybe it was my teeth hurting more and distracting me?  Who knows?  I just know I'm not being assulted on 2 levels at the moment.  Whew! :)

Ah well, time for some more pain meds, tooth brushing and feeding the fur kids.

Hi J!!!!  I saw you stopped by yest.  Leave a comment once in awhile.  We miss you!!!

Since hubby has to work on Thurs, we're not going down to my folk's place.  Today we have to go shopping in order to stock up for the coming festivities.  This means a trip to Sam's club and the regular store.  Joy.

It's a short week and I'm overjoyed at this prospect.  The thought of not having a full week of impossible schedules makes me giddy.  We're only doing a half day on Wed and that is also very nice.  Last year we had the Wed off, but not this year.  I'm not sure why.  It is better for the paycheck, but I'd rather have the time with family.  Oh well, at least it's not like WPD.  We don't have to work either Fri or Sat.

On the 1st, we have an insurance inspection.  Of course everything is going to have to be done as it's supposed to as opposed to how we're told to do it.  I was one of the ppl who got us star ratings at my former employer.  Do they want to listen to me on how we should improve things?  Oh no!  Do they want to order the non-expensive things I suggest so that we may do things as directed?  Nope.  They don't ask me about the order, nor do they ask K who is supposed to do the ordering.  They ask V who has no clue about what's required.  What a crock!  Ah well.  It's not my neck on the line.  It just irritates me that I was told that we don't have to do certain things because we're Ortho and not general.  Well, now we have to do them for the inspection.  Hmmmmm...  I guess they think I'm pretty stupid.

Yesterday we went down to Old Pasadena to check out the shopping.  It was a quickie day out for us where we didn't have any time schedules to keep.  They were also having a sort of art and craft fair in a nearby park.  One guy really impressed me with his photography.  He takes night shots with really long exposures.  Long enough for him to get in the exposures in costumes or just as shadows in the print.  The Stonehenge one was particularly cool.  He was on one side of the henge on each of the stones as a sort of spirit figure.  I asked him how he got so close to the henge and he said his Discovery Channel press pass helped quite a bit.  I'll bet!  I thought of buying just a print, but those were in the $100+ range and was a touch too rich for my blood.

I had thought there would be more indie shops in amongst the Old Pasadena stuff.  It was mostly chain stores with a very few high priced offerings.  Hmmmm....  Trying to think where would be a good place for lots of the smaller stores that are much LESS expensive.  Must start Xmas shopping!  Yule is coming at a rapid rate and I've done very little to prepare for it.

Thanks for posting this, Mum.

K was off on Fri and I thought about the fact that we never see each other, so I figured we should go out and see a movie for once.  We saw The Incredibles.  Went to the 10:15 show so there'd be a minimum of small, screaming children to listen to.  It was a good plan and it succeeded!  I think there were a total of 20 of us in the theatre.  It was a really good flick.  I kept appreciating the things they've accomplished in animation.  Yeah, it's all computers now and nothing in hand-drawn any longer, but I still enjoy the work put into it.  And it had a really nice, family-oriented story to go with the animation.  Oh, and I must mention they put the trailer for Star Wars III, Revenge of the Sith. . .  The duels look fine!  I wonder if this sequel is going to be as disappointing as the last 3?  I did enjoy Empire, but the rest have been a bit short on story line.  Of course with this upcoming sequel we'll finally find out how old Darth got his nifty suit.  Oh well, if there are some kick ass sabre fights I'll forgive alot of the story's shortcomings.

We got a call from K & J today.  They were on their way back from b-field and wanted to hook up.  C and I had already made arrangements to get our shopping done for turkey day done.  We postponed the big shop to meet them at a restaurant for lunch.  It was nice seeing them and being able to talk face to face about the upcoming trip.  We're kind of despairing of hearing anything good from the cruise ppl and J is trying to find us another cruise.  I've sat here with bills tonight and shopping today, so my brain's a little bit deep fried to figure out what we can manage at the moment.  I hope it's working a bit better tomorrow so I can let them know more!  I'm such a moron at times.  (sigh)

I have both pups in my lap at the moment.  They're not fitting as well as they'd like and my darling girl is a bit fidgety.  Both chins are resting on my L forearm.  It doesn't look very comfortable and it does impede whatever typing ability I might have.  But they're awful damned cute!

It's rather cold round here lately.  Some snow in the foothills and some slushy rain in the valley. 

Huzzah!  It's a short week! 

Well, we're finally ON for a cruise next mo.  We were and ARE hoping for a 2 wk HI cruise, but it looks pretty iffy at the moment.  Still, keep fingers X-ed because that would be quite sweet to see the islands.  The definite cruise is now booked for Baja, Mex.  It's a 4 nighter and we'll have an oceanview cabin.  V, v exciting!  I need to get a suitcase put in the closet so I can start putting aside the stuff I want to take.  Bought a dress today at lunch.  I wanted to have something to wear for the formal dinner night.  I wonder if K's suit fits?

It wasn't bad at the ofc today even tho we had several high maintenance pts in.  Why is it that most of our adult females are so whacked in the head?  I mean, really, seriously, whacked.  013 has mentioned that we have the most whacked out pts she's ever seen in one ofc.  I was kind of wondering if we had more than the usual fruitloops or what.  Its just unnatural.

Half day tomorrow.  We're all excited.  I wonder how many pts are going to show up?

ROFLMAO.  C and I are watching a CKY DVD.  Funny shit!  OMG!  C and I were absolutely dying over one particular spot.  I thought C was going to stop breathing at one point.

I have a laptop on my lap so I can type this.  I have one puppy (girl) on my L shin and another puppy (boy) on my R foot chewing on his cornstarch toy.  The new toy I got them is nestled in between them.  Perty damn cute!  But, with the bedspread over my legs and them and the laptop, I'm roasting!!!!  :p

My baby girl

in her new togs

my little boy

in his new togs

and finally my wee man being my nursemaid when I was so sick.

Wow, yesterday was pretty intense.  We only worked the AM, but it felt like we did the entire 8 hrs.  Every pt in the area seemed to have something loose that needed to be fixed.  Or Dr added crap to the list of shit to do.  It was SO not a fun day!  Poor K was not feeling well.  I'm glad I had some meds in my purse that helped her out.  Poor thing!  It was just such an outta control day. 

When I got home, C was waiting with the information that her Dr gave her a new script for an anti-psychotic and we had to go to WM and get it filled.  Of course the first (and closest) WM didn't have the mg she needed.  So we had to go to the bigger one that's much further away.  On the way out of the first store, we heard the door alarm go off and quite alot of hubbub amongst the greeter ppl and garden ppl.  Someone comes in yelling they'd better call 911 because they're fighting with them out in the parking lot.  Then the register ppl start yclling "Code 400 in the Garden" into the intercom.  We walked out and saw a 20 something woman and man of Hispanic descent struggling in the arms of WM ppl and various parking lot ppl.  The woman was screaming and kicking.  Shopping and a show!  So, after wandering around with all the other psychos and getting the script filled, we came home.  Even before the feast of french bread pizza, I was trying to crash out.  Absolutely pathetic.  I think I slept from around 7:30 PM to 10 AM.  I hadn't even had any L Triptophan yet!

I think the damned disposal is a goner.  It plugged up the drain twice today while we were trying to get the dinner started.  It's not munching up the peelings and such like it should.  They basically looked like they were still mostly whole.  Something is going on in there.  Or not going on.  and it's not like I shove all the peelings down at once.  I just do a couple at a time like you're supposed to.  Yeah, doesn't help.  Crapola!!!!!

Little dude is all sproinky and wants to play, but his sister is having tummy problems and not in the mood.  He's so cute!!  Wagga wagga, pounce, low crawl, wagga waggga, grrrrr, stare stare stare, sproink, wagga, grrr-snort!  HA!  He finally succeeded in getting a rise from her.  But it didn't last long.  He's all disappointed.  Poor puppies!

For:

my Husband

my Family

my Puppies

my Home

my Job

my Health

my Car

enough to Eat

warmth in the Winter

coolness in the Summer

clothes to wear

So why is it called black Friday?  What's up with a name like that for the "busiest shopping day of the year?"  C and I would kinda like to go shopping, but the thought of all those multitudes of ppl has us a bit anxious.  I've never liked crowds like that, but as I get older, I find I can tolerate them less and less.  I get rather agitated and feel claustrophobic.  Is there somewhere to try to find Xmas gifts where there would be fewer ppl?  The thought of getting up at 4 in the morning to go shopping at 5 with 8 billion other rabid bargain hunters is very alien to me.

The long weekend is half over.  I am saddened by this.  Why does it seem that time off passes exponentially faster than time at work???  Boo!  I don't wanna go back to work on Mon.  *sigh*

C and I braved a few stores today.  We ordered a ring for our mom's Xmas gift, I got the phone battery I was looking for (and I got the RIGHT one!), I got new chew bones for the puppies (they go through the large sized chews even though they're supposed to have the petite or small ones according to their weight), and a new disposal for the kitchen.  C got some DVD's of CKY stuff, so she's happy.  I had thought of braving the mall to look for a wrap for my dress, but looked at the parking lot and said forget it.  As it was, when we went into WM, we both took anti-anxiety tabs so we wouldn't get wigged out by all the freaks.  Ah well, I went shopping for specific things and I got them and no extras.  I exercised self-control for a change!  Woot!

Puppies are stalking each other tonight.  They had a good hr's nap and are full of piss and vinegar again.  My darling girl is feeling much better tonight (she puked up pieces of plastic last night, that had to hurt!) and she's giving my little dude a run for his money.

I've booked the 5th - 20th off at work.  Since the HI cruise is all booked up (I don't see it online anymore) and we're not cruising until the 13th I feel guilty about not going in on that first week.  It also doesn't do much for the paycheck.  But It would be so nice to be able to get to spend time with hubby for a change.  Maybe a trip to Disney or Solvang or Santa Barbara or something.  I might even get him to work in the garage and get the car in for a change! hahahahahahaha!!!  *snif, tear*  yeah, well, I can dream.

To clean this damn house!  I'm such a pack rat.  Husband is a packrat.  Sister is a packrat.  This is a bad thing in a 1400 sq ft house.  Bad, bad, BAD.  V Bad.  I've been trying by dribs and drabs to get rid of some of our crap.  Today it's the closet and whatever else strikes my fancy.  (I  think I have a touch of ADD because I can't stick to one thing for any length of time, or maybe I'm just too undisciplined to live)

Anyway.  I now have to laundry baskets that are empty of the crap that's been sitting in them forever.  I have a closet you can walk in now.  It ain't perfect, but it's improved.  I got rid of a ton of clothing that will fit none of us in this house.  There is more clothing to dispose of, but I think I need to move on to something else.  Or maybe I need to call in one of those cleaning show ppl to help me out.  That could get ugly!  Scarey.  But it would take most of the wishy washy out of me.  No, I should stick with the closet and get rid of crap I'm never going to wear so I can move some of the crap in the living room into the closet so we have room for the tree.

I'm also trying to brain storm to get some stuff moved around in this room so we can get that antique desk out of the garage so I can maybe get my car in there one day.  This desk is immense!  I mean, it's huge, weighs a ton and belonged to Ken's grandmother or someone important like that.  So, no hope in getting rid of it.  No hope of fitting it where I thought it would go, so maybe I can talk K out of the desk he had as a kid.  Yeah, it's made of plywood and such and is pretty ugly.  So maybe it could go to Amn's Attic or someplace similar to live.

*sigh* I forgot about the garbage disposal for awhile there.  I do need to get that in at some point today.... or tomorrow.  That's not one of those jobs you can abandon, though.  Once the old fucker is off, you're stuck with a non-functioning sink in the kitchen.  Yeah, I should work more on the closet, then the livingroom.  Need a tree up.  Disposal not important at the moment.  Stay focused!

I'm watching that Clean House show again.  I like this one woman's word...  Containerized.  I try this sort of thing, but get side tracked or end up with everything in one overflowing container.  *sigh* I suck.

Must eat so I can clean more.

What kind of Elf are you??

http://www.allthetests.com/quiz08/dasquiztd.php3?testid=1081557372

No, I don't know how to make hyperlink text.... *cries*

Reserved, quiet, wise and free spirited You are a sprite of the Earth: You have a deep
connection with the earth and all its
creatures, preferring plants and animals to
people you are quiet and reserved. You
understand things on a different level and can
often see straight through to a persons true
intentions. You are mysterious to everyone even
those in your family, they may live with you
but that doesn't mean they 'know' the real you.
Being inside the house for long periods of time
can be torture, you crave the outdoors and love
simply escaping up a tree or into the forest
where you can be free. Although you may be
smart you are easy to judge a person because
you fear what they 'may' be going to do. You
are wise in things that most overlook and you
are very creative in many aspects like art,
music, etc... Although try as they may to seek
you, you are a free spirit. Just let them try
to catch and put you in a cage.

.::=What type of mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

He's stopped snoring!  Huzzah!  *Dances around the folded laundry on the bed*  Apparently he needs REM sleep to stop making such ungodly noise.  I'll allow that he does have a bit of congestion/cold thing going on at the moment, but OMG!  That was some unearthly noise.  I need to send him back to the Dr.  I am sure I detected some apnea in amongst that racket.  Kind of disturbing, actually.  My dad has suffered from it for years and years and finally got that cpap thingie. 

I'm working on my 3rd load of laundry in the washer.  The first is folded and put away (except for some of his stuff because I'm irritated to have to do laundry at 5AM.)  I just finished a bowl of cereal because my stomach thought it was hungry before I got to sleep and now, after wandering around cursing and doing laundry, it was sure it was hungry.  Do I Dare try to go back to sleep in this moment of quiet?  My eyes burn.  My head is a bit lala.  My body is still fatigued after only 3 hrs of sleep.  The problem lies in the fact that I will be really and truly hacked off if I get back to sleep and he starts the ruckus again.

Damn!  A whole crap ton of entry was lost becauase the puppies decided to stomp on the laptop whilst I was out messing with that 2nd load of wash in the dryer.  *sigh*.  I'm too tired to remember what I was ranting about. 

He's snoring again fit to bring the roof down.   

Geez, I wonder why?  I did get a bit of a nap at around 8, but didn't sleep well for the aforementioned reason.  I suppose I could get some ear plugs, but how would that help me hear my alarm?  Sure, sometimes the puppies can be counted on to help me get up in the morning (it's time to eat, mom!), but that's not always a done deal.  Sometimes they also like to sleep in.  Esp when it's cold.

I did more laundry, but am so tired now I just can't deal with what was left in the dryer a few hrs ago.  Hubby did hang what I had put out from earlier, bless him.  I dunno why, but putting shirts and such on the hangers aggravates me no end.  I fold and put stuff away in drawers, but the hanging of stuff makes me nuts.  I'm just a nut case.

C is unsettled today.  She's blaming her new med, but maybe it's her hormones.  We're synched on our schedules now and I'm feeling pretty crampy.  It could be ugly here shortly.  If it's her meds, I hope she can adjust to it because of the weight she's gained from the Zyprexa is getting to be too much.

I managed to clear off an area for the Xmas tree.  Not that we got the tree up, but at least preparations have been made.  Not that I have any energy to put the damn thing up and get it wired.  But thank gods it's not a living tree or the POS we had before.

Good news on the cruise docs.  We're trying to get hubby's birth cert to use as his citizenship ID.  Well, he's had quite a fiasco getting it done.  I was reading teh cruise line's page last night and noticed they list a passport being the optimum ID whether it's valid or expired.  I KNOW where the passports are.  Sure, they expired in 97, but they're available for use!  I'd like to have both our BC's and the passports so there is no difficulty.  After all this pain in the ass stuff, I'm going to start the passport application process.

I've read many interesting blogs today.  What a great community.

A truly shitty day at work.  Then rant from boss after I was supposed to be off.  Then being told we're having a mtg tomorrow because he's had to have a rant.  POS!  9.5+ hrs at work today and He still had to have a hissy fit over useless crap.

Mean ppl suck!

I dunno why, but Thurs at the ofc is usually incredibly busy.  And as if it's not already crazy on the schedule, Dr always has to add other stuff onto the bonfire.  I think we had something like 12 B2's this morning, and then we had another 4 in the afternoon. 

No mtg today.  None of us were disappointed with this announcement, of course.  Something about running late and all that, but when we brought it up later, there wasn't time then either.  Maybe he's decided that he had a hissy fit and made an announcement that had insufficient merit.  I really wasn't into having a confrontation with him about stuff like the reason his records are bad is because the equipment is old.  He did spend some $$ on an item that made life easier for me and him alike.  I'm pleased with this as I was tired of getting the blame for something that wasn't my fault.

I called L tonight.  Yay, she was home!  So everything on this end is settled for our gift for mom.  One gift down, 8-9 to go.  *sigh*  I'm not doing well on this idea front.    Speaking of gifts....  C HAD to give me my birthday present tonight.  Apparently she ordered it with K's help and it arrived today.  It made her crazy to have it in her posession and not give it to me.  I'm now the proud owner of an "Evenstar Pendant" from the LOTR movies.  Yes, I'm quite the geek to have always wanted one, but never got round to buying one.  It is Very perty, but kinda pointy!  I'm going to wear it to work tomorrow and V is going to announce my geekness thusly.  "Oh, that is soooo gay!".  Who am I to argue??

Oh yeah!  Dr made a stunning announcement last night.  He mentioned he was thinking of taking some of his employees to the Ortho mtg next year and did we want to get our names in to go?  Of course!  Getting a free trip to the convention so I can get my CE's?  Hell yes!  Now, let's just see if he follows through on his promise.  Of course he started saying if I didn't get my name drawn, I was good at computers and I could work up front so both ladies up front could go to the mtg.  Like they want to go???  Well, my name got drawn, so I have a chance of going.  I think the CE's would be facinating and I could learn more about the whole Ortho process.

I just realized my CPR card is expired.  Damn.

Tired.  Need sleep.  Need to work early.  Hate the other ofc.  Boo! 

Vacation for 2 weeks!  Yay! :)  Happydance!!!

Bluerider! Like C'gan and M'barak, you would ride
a blue dragon, the smallest of the males.
Although you are often overlooked, your warm,
open personality makes you a treasure to your
friends and the weyr. You are also a dedicated
and strong fighter, and not afraid to risk
everything for what you believe in.

A Pern Quiz: What Color Dragon Would You Ride?
brought to you by Quizilla

Finally started so I might stop passing out so early.  I totally crashed tonight.  Not even a suitable struggle.  Just gone.  I did have some caffeine, but that didn't help at all.  I finally woke up about an hr ago, but now I'm all sleepy again.  I hate this fatigue thing that goes on every month. 

My little dude is SO cute!  He's in the mood to play and is trying to entice his sister by little growls and little false starts to run off or run at her.  She refused to rise to the bait.  Now he's got his monkey toy and is beating her in the head with it.  She's happily planted herself in my lap and is not very interested, but now he's in her face, beating her with it and biting her, so I guess she doesn't have alot of choice in this.  He's still frustrated she's not wanting to play.  Very cute to watch and listen to him growl and posture and make false starts and such.

Hmmmmmm    Tired again.

Dr was in a foul mood today.  It's a pain in the ass when he's just snippy, crabby and grumpy.  Then you can tell he's making comments and shit just to get a rise out of ppl.  I had everything prepared for one pt and he was saying do this and do that and I had the great joy of saying, I already did.  That pleased me greatly.  I hate it when he's in these moods. 

It was our staff Xmas lunch today and he made some comment about being unprepared and ther would be something for us for Xmas on Mon.  Well, I'm not going to be there Mon.  Oh well. 

eyes burning, must dropp off the earth again.

I hear from women all the time that they experience no cramps.  So, why do I?  It was so bad this morning when K got home I had to take 2 of my migraine pills (they also list it as a good thing for cramps, so I figured what the heck).  I'm going to take some more meds here shortly so I can sleep tonight.

We went to the Antiques Fair in Pasadena today.  We'd been once before years ago, but I've been wanting to go back since we moved back out here.  I was again lucky to find some lace.  Nothing nearly as nice as what I found last time.  There was a vendor there displaying some exquisite lace pieces.  I mean, REALLY big, beautiful pieces of European handmade lace.  *sigh*  They were gorgeous.  There was a piece of needle/bobbin lace that had Bevoir castle in England portrayed in it's design.  It was gorgeous!  It was also something like $1800.  I don't remember exactly, but it was steep.  There were table cloths in their entirety going for $3k-$5k.  Well worth the money.  I just don't have that kind of money!!!  It reminded me of the displays my teacher, Geraldine Stott, would have out on the days we went to her house.  I've not seen that much handmade lace since I left England.  *drool*  I saw some lace fans at another stall.  OMG!  They were gorgeous.  They were also $850.  Worth the money in workmanship and craftsmanship, but well outta my range.

Other than the lace and the jewelry, I didn't see much of interest.  There was some seriously ugly porcelain pieces.  Plates, cups and saucers that would make your eyes bleed!  Very little in the way of furniture.  I was surprised about that.  The one place that had all the trad. furniture (not the stuff for Donald Trump) had a bedroom set that was just gorgeous.  It was really small, but really gorgeous and "only" $5k for the whole set. 

We're supposed to go to Disneyland tomorrow with K and J.  Only problem is hubby didn't get his leave paperwork done on Fri like he was supposed and now he's going to delay our start tomorrow morning.  He's got a traffic accident investigation to finish up tonight when he should be sleeping.  Gods know when he's going to get home.  There are limited hrs at Disney tomorrow and we're going to have little time to go on the rides we want.  Indiana Jones, Pirates, Haunted Mansion, Star Tours, etc. 

I didn't mention the beautiful pressies I got from V, who was my secret Santa.  She gave me a beautiful robe with moons and stars on it.  It's fleece and sooooo soft!  It's fabulous!!!  She also gave me a really cute purse/tote with slots you can put pictures in so everyone can see your pride and joy wherever you go.  I got lots of comments on my pics of the puppies today at the show

It pissed down on our way to Pasadena today.  Very, very, very wet.  I had a light change in front of me and I was worried about skidding to a stop, so I drove through the light.  Next thing I know, there's a flash going off.  So, I prolly have a ticket flying on it's way here as I type.  Dammit!  I suppose that means a trip to the courthouse down there to pay my fine and ask for traffic school.  Shit, ass, bastard, whore!  Now's the time I miss those damn dealer cards I used to have instead of plates. :(

Yesterday was the Disney day.  Yay!  Of course they had limited hours, so we had to leave by 6.  That sucked.  But it's not like we've never been there before.  We had an agenda!  The lines were incredibly short.  It could have had something to do with the rain pouring down the day before.  It also drizzled in the late morning and it stayed cloudy for most of the day.  So we were in and out of the lines really quickly.  That's a wonderful day at Disney!  We had lunch at the Blue Bayou, the restaurant that's inside Pirates of the Caribean.  I'd never been there before and it was lovely. I had my first Monte Cristo sandwich.  What an yummy meal!!!  And because J and I were wearing birthday stickers (our birthdays are next week) we got free chocolate mousse for dessert. 

So if it's our birthday or you're celebrating your birthday, go to City Hall in Disney and get a sticker saying Happy Birthday.  It's nice.  Park cast members tell you happy birthday all day and you get some other perks. :) :) 

I spent far too much on Stitch stuff.  It all started from this Feb and our visit to Disneyworld.  Our nearly 15 yr old Yorkie, M, had to be put to sleep while we were away.  She always reminded us of the character Stitch, so my way of coping was to buy Stitch stuff.  There was a hoodie and a t-shirt I wanted and an ornament and collectable pins and a coffee cup.  So naughty!

The fireworks were wonderful!  I adore big firework shows and the choregraphy of the music and the fireworks was moving.  Then the advertised "snow" started to fly...  At first it looked quite genuine and the last time we were there in Dec, it was a real snow machine.  Well, this year its a . . . Bubble Machine!  Little foam bits flying in the sky.  Very odd, indeed!

I need to clean today.  It's quite a sight in here.  I also need to start getting my suitcase ready.  Gotta find that garmet bag or go to WM for a cheapy one. 

Had a dream last night we were having to make another military move.  There was lots of cleaning and moving stuff and throwing stuff out in my dream, now I'm exhausted!  I HATE those kinds of dreams!

They're pretty neat!  They do make Xmas time a bit easier, especially when we're going on a cruise next week and I'm trying to finalize stuff this week.  Then there's the sightseeing we're doing this week.  It was a bigger amount than last year, and I'm told, there was none the year before.  Count me in!

I went into work today to pick up said bonus and see how everyone's doing.  You take for granted seeing ppl day after day in the workplace.  When you don't see them, you miss them!  I got there just in time to help V get some pics printed.  I'm not sure what the rush was in printing them out since D never got them done all that quickly.  Maybe she didn't want them to build up while I was gone or maybe he wanted them ASAP.  Not sure.  Anyway, I think she's got the idea.  I got the most evil look from R when I walked in.  I had told everyone the chance of the other cruise falling thru was a near certainty, so why the ill flavored glance?  I had also told them that if the 2 wk cruise fell thru we were going to be doing some CA tourism. 

I got some traveler's cheques today and did some other errands.  Picked up some stuff for my mom's present, deposited the bonus, got mini shampoos and such.  It was productive.    I should be doing some laundry now, but I sit here and read blogs.  *sigh*

. . . To totally want the Star Trek: The Next Generation seasons 3-7 on DVD?  I don't think so!  But I also think it IS wrong that I cannot find them anywhere for less than $100+.  What's up with that??  It's just wrong, that's what.

Boo!

I am very, very unmotivated today.  I did start packing for the cruise, but not as excitedly as I had hoped.  I guess it's just my typical apathy.  I have the attention span of a 2yr old.  My back is killing me (800mg of motrin still not working), C is having problems with her new med.  She's felt tremors and muscle spasms and shivering all day and most of last night.  Definitely a worrisome sign.  She's had every adverse side effect reported for this med and she's not at all happy about it and really not happy that we're leaving in the midst of it before she can get to the Dr.  I can't blame her, but it's typical that they should escalate just before we are due to be out of town for the week.  I wonder if some of what she is feeling is anxiety of being alone for that amount of time? 

Well, I did find the camera bag.  Been looking for that for a week and there it was this whole time under the bed!  Batteries are charging and the memory card is cleaned out.  I hope I've put aside enough of a range of clothing for these 5 days.  I have a problem of packing stuff before we leave and then hating everything once I arrive at my destination.  Is that some sort of psychosis?  So, I'm going for comfort and hoping it also slides in with the smart casual theme.  Jeans/shorts t-shirts for the excursions and dresses/skirts/tops for the evening.  1 sweatshirt for any chilliness, a hoodie, 2pr sandals (1 semi-dressy), tennis shoes, evening dress, etc. 

There's only a week left of my blessed vacation.  After what V told me last night, I'm not looking forward to going back if he's going to be in a foul mood.  I did see some evidence of this mood when I was there on Wed, but I'm sure most of that was scheduling problems.  He tells them he wants the schedule full, but when it is and things get behind (as they inevitably do) he gets crabby.    I'm not missing that.  I'm not missing the PIA pts.  I do miss the nice pts.  The ones who aren't psychotic. 

Must remember to get some last minute pressies tomorrow.  Eeep!  I hate shopping right now.

Little dude is curled up on my belly w/his head on my chest.  I have the laptop on my knees and type around him.  He is such a snuggle butt! 

Back still hurts.  Suck!

From my vacation!  OMG!  I'm so tired.  We were going and going on that cruise and not much time at rest.  No sea days, so we were constantly on the move.  Today we had to be out of our staterooms by 8AM and we didn't leave till nearly 9:30.  Then we got to sit in the elevator lobby for 40 min while waiting for our baggage color to be called.  Oy. 

More tomorrow....  maybe.

Missed you all!!!! 

We met up with K and J and then off to the port of San Pedro.  Very smelly, ugly place.  I suppose like most ports.  Lots of ppl and lines and confusion at the port terminal.  Apparently we made the check in gals' day that we filled out our information online. 

We boarded the ship and booked our Fox Studio tour and opened our accounts for charging stuff on the ship.  No cash to carry there.  Everything is charged to your stateroom account.  It's easy to lose track of what you've spent that way.  Maybe that's why they do it. 

Thank gods the buffet was open as I was starving.  I remember cheesy pasta and an odd caesar salad.  It wasn't great, but it was food!!

It took forever for our bags to show up from below ship.  Our cabin steward was supposed to bring them to our door, but I think he was new to being a steward and I ended up having to bring them from the elevator lobby to our room.  He just had that air of inexperience.  Then we went on deck to do the obligatory lifeboat drill.  Not cool.  Too many ppl crowded on the decks at once with these obscene, bulky, Orange life jackets on.  The actual life boats were hung on the decks above us.  Kinda surreal to have flashbacks to Titanic with ppl on deck and lifeboats being filled.  Then we were released from the drill and there were 100's of ppl all around, trying to get back into the ship via the door we came in at the elevator lobby.  Very un cool!!!  I bolted as fast as I could back into the ship! 

We regrouped and wondered off to the pool deck to get our drinks of the day and watch sail away.  Drink of the Day became Very Important!  Every day there's a different drink that is showcased.  First day was California Lemonade.  I'm quite sure the first drinks we got weren't actually CL's.  They were very nice, but not what was described.  San Pedro was very murky and brown-looking as we left port. 

We got out of port and proceeded down to our cabin to unpack and change for dinner.  Staterooms are rather tiny. {understatement!}  It was lovely to have a porthole so we could have sunlight coming in.  Luckily, the beds are high enough so you can shove your suitecases underneath.  The shower was interesting.  Loads of water pressure, but not room for those of us who aren't size 7.  Size 14/16 asses tend to get attacked by the showercurtain!!!  A cold, wet, cloth showercurtain!!!  And the toilets are worked by suction.  You'd better get your ass off it and shut the lid before it's flushed, or you might have some sort of mechanical accident.  Kinda scarey!

Our dinner was 2nd seating (8:00pm) and our waiter was Tong from China.  He was very nice and his English was very good.  My first night's dinner was Caesar Salad, and I am not remembering the entree at the moment.  Hmmm.  Kinda sad.  I remember all the other dinners.  My brain's gone!

After dinner, we went to see the Bingo being played.  Very expensive bingo cards!  We then went to the disco bar and listened to the 70's night stuff.  The cruise officers were there, dressed in Village PPl costumes, singing and dancing.  That was pretty funny and J's on the video because she was dancing thru YMCA.

I wish I could remember what I ate that first night.  How pathetic has my brain become?  I remember the waiter taking K's knife and fork and shelling out his shrimp scampi for him.  That was interesting.  Hmmm.  Losing my mind.

I had been a bit concerned that I would be ill affected by the motion of the ship.  Truth is, I was enjoying the feeling of the waves.  It kind of extended the feeling of the buzz of our drinks.  Woo Hoo!

This was our first full day cruisin'.  Yay!  Our port of the day was San Diego.  We wanted to get up early-ish.  Breakfast at the Windjammer buffet.  Scarey soupy eggs!  But the pancakes and everything else were nice.

We went to the Maritime Museum that was right next to the ship.  It's not my favorite thing, but it was still very interesting.  They have the Surprize from the Master and Commander movie there.  It had lots of displays about the making of the movie and how the crew lived.  I was surprised that the ship looked in such disrepair because they just filmed the movie a couple of years ago, right?  We also went on a couple other ships and boats at the museum.

Then we went on to Seaport Village.  That was quite a walk!  Loads of little bike taxis that want to bike you there and back.  A few beggers here and there.  I liked the shopping area, and would have liked to spend more time looking, but we wanted to get back to the USS Midway.  Both the guys are heavy military history buffs and they were very much looking forward to being able to scramble around an Aircraft Carrier.  It was quite interesting, but I could have used an elevator or two.  Too many stairs!

We made it back to the ship and got our drinks for sail away.  The DOD (drink of the day) was Long Beach Iced Tea.  Nope, didn't taste like tea to me, but boy, was it full of booze!  Our bartender was so funny!  He thought it was still Mon and was thinking it still California Lemonade day.  He was very funny and we all had a big laugh.  He was very generous with the rum!  We watched him pour a rum and coke for a lady and 2/3 of the glass he poured was rum with a dash of coke for color! 

Lots of things to see on the sail through SD harbor.  The Navy base is right there.  Lots of Coast Gurad escorts and the pilot boat hovering around to pick up the Pilot.  Then we got some pizza from the pizza bar.  I could learn to love that!  Nearly all day free pizza!  I figured I needed a base for my booze and dinner wasn't for a few hrs.

I can remember dinner for Tue!!!  It was filet of beef with some asparagus and mashed potatoes!  Lovely.  This was also formal night, so we were all gussied up in our finest.  I had the WORST time with my shoes.  I was sure they were going to kill me by throwing me off the ship or something.  We had pictures taken in front of the Titanic background and they took pics again whilst we were seated in the dining room. 

 Afterward, we saw the vocalist and comic's show.  The vocalist had a lovely voice.  The comic was hysterical!  OMG!!!  I haven't laughed that hard in years and years.  Most of his routine was based on cruise humor.  Talking about how various rases deal with cruising, how those of size deal with the showers and ppl farting in the elevators and stuff.  He also gave us our mantra for the trip.  "I'm on Vacation, I'm on Vacation (dance, dance!)!!  He was great and ppl were talking about his act for the rest of the cruise. 

End of day 2.  There's stuff I'm missing, but, since my brain is aging and alcohol was involved, I'm not holding onto stuff like I used to! ;)

With thanks to "sandyquill"

Take the quiz: http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=5866">"Can you be a REAL Norweigan Viking?(pics)"

You are a real viking!!
You are a real Norweigan Viking!Good job!You should be proud!!

O M G!  The first Monday back from vacation. . .  My sinuses are still feeling like crap and I'm desperately hoping it's not a cold.

V told C that they've been staying late all last week.  Doesn't sound like a good thing to me.  I hope his mood is not foul.  It prolly will be tho.  Ugh! 

I am dreading this day to say the least.  <sigh>

I have been accused of being very much like Lessa (aside from her slim build and grey eyes).  I guess I should take it as a compliment, yes?

Anyway, I really love F'lar.  He had all the knowledge of Thread's return, yet no one but Lessa believed him.  He did what he could with what he had.  I also love Sean because he had to do the best with what he had starting from scratch.

I'd like to know who your fave Weyrleader is and why.

Clear Skies!

I'm watching that show Clean House on Style.  I NEED those ppl to come here and work on my entire house.  They're at the house of a family that is easily as cluttered as we are.  It's cathartic to see that someone else can be as bad as us and they can get things fixed up.  Hmm...  I don't know if the team could manage to get K to get rid of the majority of his crap.  I know I haven't been able to do anything to mitigate the situation.  *sigh* 

"Hi, my name is Silvara and I have a clutter problem.  A really BIG clutter problem."  *Hi Silvara*

I still have this rotten cold.  My ears are plugged, my nose is completely blocked, my sinuses are spewing out some really vile crap and my throat is goopy and itchy.  I do feel ever so slighty better than yesterday, but things still aren't great. 

Tomorrow is Xmas.  Although I'm a Pagan, I do celebrate the holiday as a time for family and gift giving.  We're going to my mom's and that should be interesting.  My idiot brother and two of his daughters are making an appearance.  We get to have ham sandwiches and deviled eggs and apple pie.  Interesting, huh?  My idiot father has decided to go off duck hunting.  Sound like a fun day?  Yeah, I didn't think so either.

My little dude is having some sort of raging hormone problem today.  He's humping anything he can set his eyes on and sometimes just the clear air.  Not sure what's sparking his little brain pan for this sexual conquest he's on, but it's GOT to stop!  Hey dude, we had you fixed for a reason!

I need to go do laundry.  Clean House, help me!

What is it with me that I always get sick for the holidays?  I know it's common, but I get sick and I curl into my little ball of misery and shut off all holiday cheer.  The tree got put up by K and C and I just sat and couldn't be bothered to decorate it after we got back from the cruise. 

We went to my mom's yest and spent two hours doing nothing.  My idiot brother was there trying to give us a guilt trip because we haven't been to his house and how he never hears from us.  Like I guess he doesn't have a phone either.  I've never felt close to him and am not feeling close to him now because he has prostate cancer.  There was much angst because my niece didn't show up.  No big shock to me.  My dad was off duck hunting.  Such holiday cheer in my family, huh?

My left ear is still killing me.  So much congestion still trying to wipe me out, but at least I can breathe now.  My face hurts, my head hurts, my eyes hurt.  I hate my sinuses.  The sinus pain is causing my teeth to hurt which is making me clench and just feel miserable.  Boo!  I guess I was feeling pretty awful and tired because I didn't wake today until after noon. 

Blerg

I guess that wire has finally kicked in and started moving my front teeth.  They're rather sore if I try to bite on anything.  Kinda spongy feeling.  Interesting.  I'm also getting a gap in my front teeth which is a new experience for me.  I'm also not occluding on my anteriors like I used to.  Moving right along, I guess. 

I got into a discussion with my mom yest about the braces.  She says I don't have any on.  Um, yeah I do, mom.  I don't see any!  She won't wear her glasses, so that's not a surprise.  The clear ones are nice that way; you can't see the brackets from a distance, only the wire.

I'm watchig the croc hunter diaries ep of when Steve lost his dog Sui.  And crying.  He did for her what I wish I could have done for my Muffin, but couldn't.  Damn, it's still so hard and still hurts so very much.  All the crap she went through and all the times we pulled her through, but not then.  We had to let her go from afar.  She had to leave for the bridge alone.  Will I ever forgive myself?  Do I deserve forgiveness?  I miss her still.  So very much. 

I love the puppies (who will be 1 next week), but I still miss Muffin.  My poor, sweet girl.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

01. Trainspotting
02. Shrek
03. Memento
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings
09. The Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
11. Reservoir Dogs

12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. Goonies
26. BASEketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Safety of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen
47. Fierce Creatures
48. Dude, Where's My Car?
49. Ladyhawke
50. Ghostbusters
51. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
52. Back to the Future
53. An Affair To Remember
54. Somewhere In Time
55. North By Northwest
56. Moulin Rouge
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Zoolander
60. A Walk to Remember
61. Chicago
62. Vanilla Sky
63. The Sweetest Thing
64. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead
65. The Nightmare Before Christmas
66. Chasing Amy
67. Edward Scissorhands
67. Battle Royale
68. Kill Bill Vol. 2
69. Fight Club
70. Clerks
71. The Crow
72. Get Real
73. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone
74. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
75. Wake
76. Silence of the Lambs
77. Pulp Fiction
78. The Crying Game
79. Amélie
80. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
81. Happy Campers
82. Velvet Goldmine
83. Elephant
84. Peter Pan
85. Camp
86. Particles of Truth
87. The Godfather
88. Big Fish
89. The Passion of the Christ
90. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
91. The Neverending Story
92. The Breakfast Club
93. Newsies
94. Princess Mononoke
95. The Prince of Egypt
96. Grease
97. The Hidden Fortress
98. Troy
99. It Happened One Night
100. Hackers
101. Dead Poets Society
102. Ghost Ship
103. The Wedding Banquet
104. The Red Violin
105. The Beach
106. The Women
107. Run Lola Run
108. The Quiet Man
109. X-Men
110. X-2
111. Spiderman
112. Punch Drunk Love
113. From Dusk 'Til Dawn
114. Joe Vs. The Volcano
115. Meet Joe Black
116. Gregory's Girl
117. In the Time of the Butterflies
118. The Butterfly Effect
119. Dirty Dancing
120. Final Destination 2
121. Rosemary's Baby
122. Spider-Man 2
123. Practical Magic
124. A Shark Tale
125. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
126. Sweet Home Alabama
127. American Beauty
128. Rocky Horror Picture Show
129. American Psycho
130. American History X
131. Ray
132. Waking Life

133. I Heart Huckabees

134. Garden State 

135. What the Bleep Do We Know

136. Gone In 60 Seconds
137. 8 Mile
138. Blow

139.Wicker Park

140.Saving Private Ryan

141.Anna and the King
142.The Polar Express
143.Black Hawk Down

144.Pearl Harbor

145.The Patriot

146.Hidalgo

147.Runaway Bride

148.We Were Soldiers

150.Club Dread

151.Super Troopers

152.S.W.A.T.

155.10 Things I Hate About You

156. Save The Last Dance

157.Saw

158. The Fast and the Furious

159. Too Fast and Too Furious

160.The Whole Nine Yards

161. Bruce Almighty

162. Liar Liar

163. Big Fat Liar

165.40 Days and 40 Nights

166.The Grudge

167. The Blair Witch Project

168.House on Haunted Hill

169.When Harry Met Sally

170.An Officer and a Gentleman

171. Bad Santa

172.Dirty Work

173.  Raiders of the Lost Ark

C obligingly colored my hair for me tonight whilst she was waiting for the 40 lift to take the color outta her hair (she's going back to her "normal" color).  I picked something called Dark Cherry Red or some such and it's very dark.  Like I think you'll only see the red when you look at it in full sunlight.  Ah well, I was kinda getting tired of the whole roots nonsense with the lighter color and the highlights.  Well see how much color is left in it after a few washes.  Maybe it'll still lighten up a smidge.

As I said before, C is going from blue and purple to her "normal" ash blonde.  I don't know when the last time she had natural color going on.  I thought the purple was really cool at first, but looking at some pics from last spring, I found I prefer the blonde look better.  Unfortunately, I think she's done fried her bangs something awful!  They looked quite pathetic when she took out the lift.  I wonder how long she'll put up with this 'natural' look?

It's been pissing down for hours now.  It was mostly dry today, but ever since about 5:30 it's been pouring.  Oddly enough I'm not see any flood warnings like we had last night and yet we seem to be getting more water tonight.  Ah well, we need the water and they need the snowpack in the mtns.  I hope it dries up in the morning as we've got tons of errands to do. 

Acid reflux is kicking my ass this week thus far.  I knew it was going to start rearing it's ugly head with the eating and alcohol consumption of the cruise life and the holidays.  I'm taking my Tagamet again, but it's going to take awhile for things to settle down.  Maybe I should go with the Prilosec again so I can heal whatever ouchies are going on.  Blerg!

By the fact that Arwen goes through 2 costume changes during the Rivendell scenes in ROTK yet there's no mention of how much time has passed since she returned?  Why does she have to be hooded and cloaked to go look at the Shards of Narsil?

Just a little LOTR OCD.

I just spent over an hour looking for my favorite pair of earrings.  They were an anniversary gift from hubby a few years ago and hence, very dear to me.  I Know for a fact I put them in a jewelry bag that's on my nightstand before the dye job tonight.  Well, I was going to go to sleep and wanted all my earrings back in and they weren't there.  Everything else was there but those earrings.  I was getting quite upset and going through some OCD searching, but had to get up and grab some tissue from the puppies before they turned it into confetti.  Lo and behold, there's a sparkly earring on the floor by the bed.  Not near me, but by the foot.  I will assume they made off with it stuck to their fur or something as they like to clamber around on my nightstand whenever the opportunity presents itself.  Little shits!  Oh, to get my heart rate back to normal...  Good thing I took my buspar already.  I think it kept me from losing it completely.

I'm so behind on the holidays.  I haven't sent anything to the family.  The cruise just blew me completely off schedule and then the killer virus did me in.  Now I'm just in denial and aversion to it all.  I've REALLY got to get stuff in the mail this week.  Oy.  I want another cruise.  (sigh)

Now I've had my fright and I'm hungry.  WTF?

Yahoo has told me that DSL is now available in my area.  No other provider is offering it yet.  I've signed up, but have my doubts as to whether it's actually available or not.  We'll see.  I hope so.  I also hope the desktop is compatable or I'm going to be quite bitter!

I still feel like I'm a pile of shit.  Not accomplishing anything.  Just wanting to sleep my life away.  I guess that cold and such took more out of me than I realized.  That and my period started.  Blergh.  Just shoot me!

It rained and rained and rained last night.  I'm not sure when it stopped, but it was still going when I finally got to sleep this morning.  C and I went to town today to get her meds refilled and I noticed the catch basin closest to our house is completely full to the top and the drain closest to it is overflowing.  All the bad drainage areas in town were visible in stark contrast to the usual look of a desert town.  Water building up to take up two lanes of arterial roadway.  Flotsam and jetsam from one side of the road to the other.  Retention basins, Flood control areas, and creeks all full to the brim or overflowing.  The new fairgrounds are being flooded again.  Not sure how much more water is in the forecast, but I hope it's not alot!

I will close with blah blah blah blah blah!

My watch arrived a bit ago, and it's wonderful!  It is bigger and beefier than I thought it would be.  Kinda chunky and heavy, but I know that means it's going to hold up much better than my previous watches.  I love having a watch, but I tend to kill them.  Even the stirling silver ones I got from Ecclissi.  Well, when they got their batteries changed, they weren't ever the same.  Dunno if i should take the blame on that or not since I didn't change them out...  Kick ass!  A solar powered watch that will never need a battery change!!!  I should be set.

I went into the ofc for a little over 3 hrs today.  I got almost all the L cephs caught up and now I just need to pull some charts for the P's.  I remembered my radio this time, and it was nice to not have to sit with just my own thoughts for my time in the dungeon.  I noticed there are still a bunch of models to be cut.  I kinda thought Y would get those taken care of.  It would make me crazy to have those sitting there all this time.  Doing the cephs is what I call my additional duty job, but cutting the models is her primary job and they've been sitting there for ages. 

C is dying her hair again.  I hope it doesn't fall out in clumps or anything.  It was pretty haggard in front from previous bleaching, and I've been afraid of what will happen to it from that.  Eeep!  She didn't like the lightness of the top portion of her hair, so she's trying to darken it down today.  I hope it works!

Tomorrow is the furkid's birthdays.  They're 1yr old, but they're still the babies or the puppies to me. 

Hmmmm....  So tired so suddenly..  What is UP with me?!?

It is my furkids first birthday today.  I can't believe the time has passed so quickly.  True, we didn't get them until they were 12 wks old, but we can still celebrate their birthdays.  I'll still think of them as "the Babies".  My dear Muffin was still my baby at 15, so how will I be able to think of them differently.

They got a bath in the kitchen sink tonight and I think they were rather hacked off at me because of it.  My little dude won't sleep in my lap since the fateful bathing and his sister isn't so quick to come to my call now.  Usually C does the bathing because of her grooming experience, but I couldn't stand their pong any longer.  They love those cornstarch chews, but their faces become so crusty from those no-calorie treats.  They chew so determinedly on these "bones" that I have to buy the large sized ones so they'll last longer than a few hours. 

Little Monsters.  Gotta love them!

How different do I feel this year as opposed to last year?  I'm not sure if I'm feeling better, worse or the same.  Hmmm.  Let's see what my journal entry was 1 yr ago:

It's nearly New Year's and I feel discontent. Am I doing anything that's worthwhile? Sometimes I just feel like a useless blob. No self control, no self esteem, no clue, no friends.....

Hoping this year is happy.

 Current Mood: depressed  
Not very uplifting, was it?  What did I put for the 1st?

 The hour has arrived... And passed pretty much unnoticed. Except by B. B doesn't like stupid people with fireworks and guns going off.

I'm going to be 40 this year.

Stupid, fat hobbit.

Current Mood: gloomy

Maybe I was feeling that because C hadn't had her SS approved and was having her own problems and I was feeling like I'd never get the help I needed to deal with her.  Maybe it was because I had to have a crown done a year ago and that's pretty depressing for a dental assistant.  Maybe it was just because I was feeling depressed.  I don't know, but I hope I feel better this time around.

I do think it helped that we had two vacations this year as opposed to none last year.  K's schedule has taken a toll on our being able to spend time together.  He's pulling 12hr shifts when they're supposed to be in 8's.  Now, after the Xmas schedule, they're going into 12's, 3 days on, 3 off, and I wonder when I'm going to see him.  Thank the gods we had that time together on the cruise and at Xmas.  It was nice to spend time in each other's company w/out the day to day stresses of home life.

We lost Muffin this year.  I'm still not over that.  As much as I fooled myself over the last few months, I realized I'm still missing her very much.  I can rationalize that she was old and ill no longer able to be the intelligent, fun-loving, spunky, little monster we used to know.  I guess it was all the intense times we lived through and she was a constant joy during those times.  She guarded us when K was out in the field and made me feel safe.  She was a piece of England we got to bring back with us.  She was my firstborn in my life w/out children.  And now I have to struggle to remember all those good times we had with her.  Struggle to pull myself out of the grief that overwhelms me at times.  Even when I try to remember the good stuff, the cute things, the intelligence, the strength, the companionship, I just feel so bereft and sad.  And I cry.  I'm sure it's some stage of grief I'm trying to get through.  I never could keep those straight in my head.  I guess I should read up on that again.

Even with all the trials and tribulations at work, I feel we have a good team and we work well together.  It's a good thing!  Sure, we still have really bad days where the schedule sucks and the pts are assholes and Dr is in a foul mood or whatever, but...  We have jobs.  Not everyone can say that.  Sure, the pay ain't optimum, but I feel we're in the best ofc in the Valley. 

Speaking of jobs.  K retires this year after 25+ yrs in the AF.  He's never had a civilian job and he's over 40, so the whole job hunting thing has me worried.  Will he find a job with comparable pay?  Benefits?  A half decent schedule?  I worry about this daily, and it's around 7 mos away.  I was supposed to have lots more put away in savings for this, but I've failed that.  (property taxes suck, but I won't go into that quagmire right now or I'll end up quivering in the corner) 

K lost another family member to cancer this year.  The three closest ppl in his life taken by this monster.  Yeah, they weren't spring chickens, but still.  Of course this last relative passing made for all kinds of stress and trauma that neither of us want to deal with.  It's also furthered the distance that's been placed between K and other family members. 

My dad's still being an asshole.  My mom's her opinionated self, but with less hearing and vision.  Getting older.  How long do I have them?  I don't spend enough time with them.  I suck as a daughter.

Why can't I be more organized?  Why can't I get a grip on the stuff that needs to be done?  I feel so inadequate at times that I just want to scream. 

These are the thoughts and feelings I'm bringing with me from this year.  And I fear the coming year and what it holds in store for us.

And how are things going to go w/C?  Will she get the courage to get her own place?  Will she find the right combination of meds to help her function?  Will her therapy continue so she can lead a more productive life?  Will she tame the demons in her mind so she can become the person she was ment to be?  Can I help her in this process?  Am I strong enough?  I dunno.

I need to go to sleep. 

Oh, Gracious Goddess, Gracious God, Please help us all to cope with whatever lies ahead of us.

Blessed Be.

With thanks to emptyblonde.

Your Boobies' Names Are: Twin Peaks

Thus far, this isn't much of a new year.  I've sat here doing fuck all for most of the day.  Felt kinda groggy and blah.  Not the most auspicious start to the day or the year.

On Mon I go back to work and can obviously say I'm not lookin forward to it.  I suppose it's better than sitting around here doing fuck all when there is more than enough to do around this house.  I am in that sort of apathetic limbo from which I'm having a terrible time extracting myself.  I feel mostly friendless, hopeless, helpeless, nothingness.

Pathetic.  *sigh*

I'm not sure how grief recovery is supposed to go, but I sure wish I did.  Ever since that damn CrocHunter ep last week, I've been really submerged in grief for Muffin's passing.  Tonight I was absolutely sobbing at one point and felt like I couldn't catch my breath for the tears.  I still feel that I betrayed her by leaving her in the kennel when she was so old.  For not being there with her when she went to the bridge.  For not being able to say goodbye sooner so she wouldn't have gone through all this alone.

I had thought I was over this type of grieving, but I guess I was way off in my estimation of my recovery.  I know I should let this go and try to move on, but I keep thinking of all the good times we had and what a huge part of our life she was.  While this is not the heart-rending pain of new grief, it sure brings me to a halt and stomps up and down on my poor heart.

Yes, I have two beautiful dogs who I love dearly.  They bring me great joy and happiness.  One is curled in my lap as I type (it's quite uncomfortable at the moment, but I love having him there) and the other is not an inch away from me and both are sleeping like angels.  But...  I am still feeling this pain and depression. 

Yay!  Something to distract me!

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, the kids have been puking since I got home tonight.  Possibly even a little earlier than that.  I'm not at all sure what they got into, but apparently they shouldn't have.  It's white and firm and like a firm cheese.  The pukes smell like egg salad.  Ewww!  I wish I knew what the hell they got into.  Little dude seems to have recovered from his bout, but little blonde seems to be still suffering the aftereffects.  They seem rather chipper otherwise, but I do worry about them being ill like this.  I still think of them as "the babies" and any health scare spins me back to Muffin's illnesses.  Worry, worry, stress, stress!  A thing to remember about having two exactly the same age dogs.....  Double the love...  Double the puke to clean up!!!  Ew, dude!  Can't sleep!  Puke will get me!

Still fighting the depression.  Went to petloss.com last night for their weekly candle lighting ceremony for those whose pets have passed on and for those whose pets are ill.  It was lovely.  I lit my candle for Muffin and stayed in the chatroom for awhile.  So many ppl suffering from the loss of their pets.  I talked to one chap for awhile and I am wondering if he was a therapist or something.  His questions and answers seemed really theraputic.  It was good to be amongst those who understand how I'm feeling and to see others who feel the same way I do.  Then I'm not feeling like such an oddball.

K starts 12 hr shifts tomorrow.  3 on and 3 off.  Indefinite length of time on this schedule.  I really need him to get in for a sleep study.  His snoring!!!  It's reaching spectacular levels and then the apnea sets in.  And the snoring.  Did I mention the snoring?  Oy! 

*sigh*  This year is starting well, isn't it?

I dunno what it was...  I really wish I did so I could point a finger or something...  But I was knocked flat by some bacteria or virus or something in my digestive tract yest.  It took 6+ Immodium to get things stopped enough that I could sleep.  My entire body ached.  Skin, muscles and bones ached and ached until I wanted to cry.  My muscles are still a bit sore, but nothing like the previous 25 hrs.  My temp rose to a lovely 100.5.  K brought me juice and bananas and rice pudding and more Immodium and such.  He was my angel of mercy!  I stayed in bed for the entire day.  Leaving it's warm presence only for necessary trips to the bathroom a mere 10 ft away.  Oy! 

I'm still not 100%, but at least I'm not feeling like death. 

I hope your weekend is better!

Something told me it would be bad to go to the mall today.  I thought it was just laziness that I didn't want to get up outta my warm bed and take a shower and such.  Yeah, well...  finally made it to the shower and it about did me in.  I'm propped up on pillows, laptop in lap feeling like shit again.  Nothing like yest, but just the whole- you ain't recovered from yest keep your ass quiet- type of ick.  C wanted to go to Vicky's Secret sale, and I told her we'd go tomorrow.  I'm so glad I did.  Now, mind you, I've already done my ordering online and got free shipping, so I'm all set. 

head spinning....

I was told by my therapist a couple years ago that I should get back into my hobbies as a means to fight off depression.  I thought it made sense, but I couldn't just jump back into the projects I'd done before as they required much more attention and concentration than I was willing or able to give (Aran knits are very number involved in stitch and row counting).  One day I was watching DIY and a knitting program came on.  They showed a really pretty baby blanket that had blending of yarn colors for a very gradual striping effect.  Bingo!!!  New project.  I got the yarns and started the afghan ages ago.  Well before C came to stay with us, and that was over 18 mos ago.  Well, that's around the last time I had much inclination to work on that project.

V decided she wanted to learn to knit and started by reading a book.  She did really well, but needed a little coaching to help her with stitch form and tension.  Perfect excuse and encouragement to start my project again.  Now I'm trying to get back into the swing of things with the pattern and repeats.  Kind of challenging.  But it's nice to know I still know how to knit and how the stitches should look.

The waters are getting rather out of control around here.  Our little water retention basin at the edge of our neighborhood is done with water.  It's full.  Done.  Overflowing onto the streets so that we have had to change our normal entrance to the tract in order to not flood the vehicles.  It's at least 6'' high where I can see near the edges and I'm not sure how high it is in the deepest area.  The Armagosa Creek area is really getting outta hand and the fairgrounds are trying to flood as well.  I'd hate to see how bad it is in QH.

I can honestly say I'm sick to death of rain and water.  All this water and we may still have a bad year of wildflowers in the Spring.  Bleah!

I am worth $1,336,530.00 on HumanForSale.com

How sad. :(

I know it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  It could have been so much worse, but it felt pretty bad at the time. 

Monday started with the gals up front telling me I was going to be the only assistant for the day as the others were ill.  I was informed that it wouldn't be too bad as they would thin the schedule out for us.  Dr was ill as well, but he decided he had to show up.  OK, fine.  Only one of the B2's in the afternoon was rescheduled.  No one else was rescheduled except for the guy who couldn't make it at one time so they put him later in the schedule.  That helped me how?  The 3 B4's were kept in as were all the other B2's in the morning.  One asst and one Dr and one lab gal to take care of all this.  At one point, I was certain I would never see lunch and get to see a full schedule of pts in the afternoon.  That's when I finally lost it and freaked out on the ppl in the front ofc.  Luckily for me Dr said he'd finish up on the last B4 so I could get something to eat.  A 30 min lunch is better than nothing at all!! I'm not sure how I made it through that day, but I did and hopefully, I didn't make any enemies in the process.  I can't help it.  It's one of my failings.  When I get really stressed out and no one is helping, I tend to spout off at the mouth.  The weather was quite foul and you'd think ppl would stay home.  Nope!  It was also tiring in the extreme that I had to set up all the trays for B2s and B4's and all.  When I'd think a tray had been set up, I'd realize I had to go back and get everything except what was normally on a tray set up for myself.  Lots of miles on my poor feet that day.

Tue we were only short 1 person since V dragged herself out of her sickbed to help out.  The schedule was so light I wished we'd had it the day before.  The weather cleared quite a bit but we had lots of ppl calling in saying they were sick.  Please stay home!  We don't need your germs here!

Wed was typical in scheduling.  K was there straight out of her sickbed and V was feeling better, so we did really well that day.  I do hate Weds.  They're out late days and usually get pretty hectic in the afternoons.  Unfortunately we forgot one of our handpieces at the other ofc and G had to go get it for us.  I ended up being the one to tell Dr that the instrument wasn't there and that we had it under control.  I was glad for the small favor of him not freaking out about it.  For some reason even though the schedule was crazy S decided she wasn't going to help us out at all.  Very irritating when we're trying to do records and such and no help.  Grr.

Thurs was the usual freaky schedule, but we got more teamwork going.  What a relief.  By this time I was so tired I could hardly think.  Of course all our "interesting" pts showed up this week to add to the stress.  You get weirdos in all lines of work, but when they all show up in one week, it kinda drains ya.

When I got home Thurs night, I got in the shower, begged hubby to reheat something for me to eat (C decided she was too tired) and then I passed out cold.  I turned the laptop over to C and just died.  That was around 9PM and I didn't get up again until around 8 the next morning.  And I only got up then because I had an appt for T and my 90 min massage. 

T did the whole paraffin wax treatment on my hands and full body massage.  She worked out so many kinks and aches it was amazing!  My low back was still a bit stiff, but I don't think anything would have made it better by Fri.  Too much week to deal with for a one day fix.  Unfortunately, after my massage, I was told Dr wanted me to take Xrays and photos on a pt that was DB'd the day I was off sick.  I wasn't about to sit around all day waiting for dude to come in, so we set up a different appt. 

To top it all, I am finally experiencing chain on my braces.  I asked Dr why I was getting a gap in my front teeth and he said they were moving outward because of the torque in the wire instead of upward.  So the chain will counteract that.  Ouch.  Chain hurts.  Gaps are closed and my whole bite is different.

It was a week to forget...  Quickly for the sake of my sanity.

It poured down in the So Calif region for 15 days.  That's alot of rain for us.  Some areas got over 25" of rain.  How crazy is that?  We're in a little town that doesn't have a sophisticated infrastructure, so when it pours, the water retention basins fill up and overflow.  The water from the overflow goes into the streets and leaves us with rivers and lakes.  Water was flowing from the desert to the West and going into town at a rapid rate.  The main road by the fwy was pretty outta hand and I think they brought in a backhoe to carve a ditch through the empty lots to drain the lake.  For awhile I figured they would put a "Leave No Wake" sign on the intersection. 

At least the clouds kept the temperature a bit more stable and warm.  Now we have clear skies and lots of frost to scrape off the car in the morning.  Ah well, at least I can clean it off with a credit card.  Nothing like the hardcore scraper/brush needed in ND.  Count yer blessings, girl!

Today was real quiet and rather boring.  K sat playing on the puter and I started knitting a fabric bag.  Vague instructions on the kit for the knit bag.  Kind of irritating.  I kinda wanted to go to the ORC in Pasadena today, but it was a bit pricey for my liking.

I'm thinking about one of those anti-barking collars for my furkid who so enjoys barking at anything and Nothing.  Only thing is, they're expensive and I don't know if it's going to work on her.  C sends her to "Camp" in the living room kennel so she's separated from everyone else, but it's only partially successful.

I started laundry and never finished it.  I'm kinda useless today.  Full week coming up and I'm not looking forward to it.  Wonder when I'll recover from this past week??

That's how I feel today.  I had so many dreams of what I would accomplish today and none of it has come to fruition.  I at least wanted to get my car washed as it looks like a mud bomb hit it from all the rains earlier this week.  Yeah, that didn't happen.  I've sat at the laptop and perused Mindsay and done fuck all. 

Oh yeah, a combined effort with C got some Decon upstairs for whatever rodent is living in the attic.  Apparently the barking of our little Blonde hasn't all been all for naught.  I could hear little chewings and rustlings up there yesterday and apparently she's been hearing it for awhile and I was clueless. 

Still haven't finished that damn laundry.  I suck!

That I am 1/4 Croatian.  C told me today that our grandfather was quite vocal about the fact that his family left Hungry because of the clash between the two factions there.  I might have had this knowledge before, but my mind's been a bit of a sieve the past few years.

So, this means I am 1/2 Japanese, 1/4 Croatian, and 1/4 Irish (with roots in Scotland).  What a mix, huh?  No wonder I ain't right!

Take the quiz: "Which famous actress are you?"

Gwyneth Paltrow
Hello, I'm Gwyneth Paltrow. How art thou?

Cool!

I hate staff mtgs.  I really do.  They're seldom, if ever, a positive thing.  They're generally a negative rehashing of any error, mistake, oopsie, or oversight made over the last couple of months.  Things are brought up from "their" end that are expected to be acted upon immediately and forever.  But if we bring up things about "them", we'll get lip service and no improvement in the situation.  It's annoying in the extreme that some ppl get paid a good salary and manage to do very little work for most of their existance.  But some relationships have advantages that not everyone has. 

So, not only is it Wed with the usual screwed up schedule, it's also going to be a very long day because of the mtg.  Boo. 

Acid reflux is slowly tring to kill me.  I'm sure of it.  It's not bad at the moment, but I expect it to rear it's ugly, painful, yucky head at any moment.  All I had for dinner was a bowl of Cheerios.  That isn't really something they suggest when they talk about diet for reflux, but it seems to give me the least amount of trouble when I'm feeling acidic.  I've already done the 2 wk stint of Prilosec and it hasn't really helped all that much.  I guess it's back to tagamet for a little while.  The diet they recommend for AR is NO: spicy, sweet, caffeine, chocolate, fatty, fried, acidic, dairy, etc.  What does that leave??  Seriously!

Hubby's off tomorrow and will finally be seeing someone about the snoring/apnea.  I hope the medical personnel start the wheels turning and don't just laugh him off with a script or two. 

I'm so glad!  I was beginning to think it would never end.  I was fearing it to be honest! 

Most everyone was in a good mood, but we were completely exhausted.  Next week is a short week, so that's something to be grateful for.

The staff mtg wasn't as bad as it could be, but still had it's major negative points.  There's one phrase we keep hearing from Dr and it seems to be repeated with more frequency of late.  It's getting old.  Oh well, I should just be glad we lived, right?  Oh, and I lost one of my additional duties!  Yippee!  I'm very glad I don't have to do those any longer.  

tired tired tired.

I want to go to the beach, but it's awfully far away for my current frame of mind.   I miss living closer to the beach.

No info on hubby's apnea.  They're doing more bloodwork and starting with that.  Not sure what the bloodwork is going to tell them.  That's next week.

Acid reflux is feeling better at this particular moment.  I hope this is a new trend!

I'm spacey, borderline moody, have a face full of zits and I'm terribly fatigued.  Must be PMS.  Boo!

I'd feel much more accomplished if I'd finished the job, but I started late and (I'll admit it) I had no clue what I was doing.  Well, that's a lie since we went through this whole thing 6 yrs ago, but....  today I was on my own!!!

I got the garage door opener up and mostly installed.  The switch that goes by the door is up and wired and things work when I push the buttons, so that's something.  I don't have the little sensors that go by the door aligned or wired up yet, and I don't have the door attached to the track yet, but I think those will be easier than getting the damn thing up!  If you haven't tried this DIY job yet, the motor for a garage door opener is VERY HEAVY for my wimpy arms to maneuver!!!  I got the damn motor screwed into the rafters when i realized that even if it looked aligned with the rail that was attached to the front wall of the garage, it wasn't aligned with the bit you hook on to on the garage door itself.  Soooo, I got to disassemble the motor from the rafters to once again attach it about 1" to the left....  Note to future installers:  bungee cords can be used to hold the motor and rail up in the air whilst you are attaching the "L" bars to the rafters.  They work far better than poor humans who tend to get tired of holding said heavy object up in the air while you are trying to get the screws into the boards. 

My arms and legs and feet are going to bitch up a storm tomorrow for my exertions today.  I'm already so sore.  I really need to get in better shape.  DIY projects around the house tend to kill me.  That can't be a good thing, right?  Just stamp my forehead with the pathetic stamp and I'll move on.

I wandered around the garage before I started my task today and was overwhelmed by all the crap in there.  It's just obscene!  I'd say that now there is probably only 5% in there that is mine and I've tried to keep it in the rafters or to the sides.  Hubby's crap is strewn everywhere!  He has this habit of carrying around his "toys" and when that pile of crap gets too heavy with each additional thing (papers, books, magazines, etc) he dumps part of said pile in the garage and forgets about it.  Then there's the crap he's grabbed from the two houses down South that he's housed in there in new piles and stacks.  Holy fucking shit!  There's no hope for me getting my car in there if I don't take matters into my own hands.  If I don't, I feel I'm only encouraging his OCD/mental thing/Whatever it is.  I, personally, feel I've waited long enough for something to be done out there.  I'm getting ready to take matters into my own hands, and he's not going to like it.  Hell, he's not going to like that I put the garage door opener up!  He's been telling me he's going to do it, but when he doesn't, I'm supposed to sit quietly and wait.  I would guess that's his stubborn Scandinavian heritage.  Anyone who knows me realizes that sitting quietly for anything is soooo against my grain!  LOL!!

Between sister's mania and me taking things outta spouse's hands, I bet I'd better sleep somewhere else for awhile ;)

Now, to be brutally honest, the inside of the house is looking pretty awful as well.  There is too much furniture and too much that doesn't have a normal place to live for me to get things put away the way I'd like.  There's just so much crap that needs to be tossed out, put away, a home found for, rearranging, etc that it's not even funny.  OK...  Note to me:  Use this longish weekend to work on the livingroom/diningroom and bedroom.  Or else!  I vow to remind myself of this duty every day until then, especially if I do nothing to recitfy the situation in the meantime!

My knees are going to be shot this week.  They've been awfully sore over the past two weeks and now, with all this ladder work, they're going to be really bitchy.  I need to work on my physical therapy for my knees again.  I'm trying to remember all the moves I got from the phys therapist, and am failing.  I do remember having to step on a step aerobics thingey for so many reps per side, but that's it....  I suck!  I do know for a fact that I would never go if I joined a gym.  I'd have to make monthly pmts for naught.  Boo!!!

Wow, I'm glad I made an appt with T for Fri.  I think I'm definitely going to be hurtin by then.

Hasta

Hubby was rather irritated that I went ahead and put up the garage door opener.  What can I say?  He's stuck with either doing it and me being happy, not doing it and hearing me nag or me doing it because I'm tired of waiting for him.  I feel that 18-odd months of waiting for it to be done is more than enough on my part.  I am able-bodied and there's no real excuse keeping me from accomplishing the task.  Well, my lack of organizational skills do impede the process, but that's another tale. 

Should I mention he wants to keep a wooden bookcase that used to be his bed when his parents and he went camping?  It's huge, hideous yellow and has a crap ton of shit in it.  Who the hell knows what it is.  I'm sure he prolly doesn't know either. 

My muscles are suffering for my zeal.  My knee hurts and my hip/butt are very, very sore.  My Rt side is pretty pathetic.  I've also noticed that popping 800MG of motrin gets my heartburn going.  It's buuuurrrrrrnnnniiiiinnnnnggggg!!!!!!!

*sigh*  Tired.

Well, it works anyway.  The garage door is fully functional and now I only have to figure out how to program the remote in my car.  K did get home in time to hand me tools and he did hook up the rods that attach the door to the opener (2 bolts/nuts).  The little "eye" things were aligned w/out me doing anything but attaching them to the brackets.  That was beautiful, indeed.  Esp since the last time I had to align the "eyes" I was at it for a good hour or so.  And the adjustment for the door pressure up and down was nearly perfect right from the start.  That sooo did NOT happen the last time.  Hubby kept telling me it wasn't going high enough for my car to get into the garage.  Um, yeah.  There's no hope in hell of my car getting into the garage anytime soon, so that's a specious arguement.

Anyway, that job is accomplished now, so I don't have to take any time away from cleaning up things inside the house this weekend.  Hmmmm....  I haven't informed sis of this plan.  Should I hope she'll read this entry (doubtful) or should I tell her early and avoid her making plans for the weekend....

I'm still feeling sore and I tried to even out my use of the ladder so I wouldn't strain my right leg too much this time.  We'll see if it helped any this time.

Yippee! :D

She didn't say so, but I'm pretty sure she had a bit of a time getting some of my worst knots to move out.  I have a chronic one in the rhomboids (or is it the serratus posterior superior?) on the Rt and I get alot of trouble in the lumbar/sacrum area.  It does feel so much more pliable when I leave, but life just tends to get the knots going again. She said I'm going to be a bit sore for a few days.  I have the garage door to blame!!!

I'm on call this weekend and had two pts today.  One with a problem with an appliance (so I took it off) and one needing an Xray for another ofc).  The one who needed the xray noticed my henna and I told her C does it.  Well, she made a date w/C for tomorrow to get some henna before she goes out of town.  I wasn't really interested in going when the lady said she didn't have any furniture in her house and since I'd already planned on getting some cleaning and trashing done tomorrow and Sun. 

Gods, I hope I get something worthwhile done tomorrow.  I have this horrible tendancy to go from job to job when I'm cleaning and get only about 1/4 of each job done.  I still haven't figured out why this is.  Or I'll be doing one job, go to get something for that job and get distracted by something else along the way.  It's pretty bad. 

Soooo sleepy............ . . . . .     .         .      .         .

What was your first car? 

What is your name? (I cheated and took the 2nd one)

What is your grandma's name?

Where did you grow up? (This looks bad...)

Where do you live now?

 What is your favorite food?

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? (This wasn't first...A puppy was!)

 What is your favorite smell?

 What is your favorite song?

What are you favorite type of shoes?

There is just far too much to be done in this house for me to accomplish it by myself in 3 days.  I'm not that fast or organized a worker when it comes to cleaning, so what can I say?  I set unrealistic goals and get really fed up and depressed when I don't accomplish them.  I know that this is flawed thinking and that it leads to depression, but it's how I've always been. 

I've washed a ton of clothes and linens and such and put most of them away (along with the stuff hubby was supposed to put away last week but didn't), thrown out a bunch of boxes and such that took up life in the closet and didn't need to live there anymore, gathered up a bunch of bottles by the computer desk that were left there by ppl who didn't pick them up, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher twice, took out all the trash cans in the various rooms, changed out the old throw rugs in the kitchen, etc.  Yes, I still wandered from job to job.  The only one I can feel ok about doing that with is the laundry.

I've also had to have a discussion w/sis regarding my "psycho tendancy" of going on a cleaning spree every month.   She says it disturbs her greatly that I get into this state when I let things slide the rest of the time.  I asked her if she'd prefer I get like our mother and everyone else we know who clean constantly and don't let the house get to be such a mess.  She did not.  I told her that she would have to get over it and if she helped me out I'd be in a better mood about things.  I was told I'm not supposed to see her sitting there doing nothing, I'm supposed to see her waiting for me to tell her what to do.  HA!  I told her to not wait next time and ask me what I want her to do so I don't get pissy.  We'll see how tomorrow goes.  Hmmm...  Just noticed that tomorrow is today.

My muscles are still aching from yesterday.  It's a good ache today as opposed to yest.  I was kinda feeling like I got beat!  That chronic trigger point is still bothering me, but nothing like it was last night. 

C had her first paying Henna job today.  It was for that pt I saw yest.  I thought C was going to worry herself into a stroke about it before she went.  Ah well, let's hope this can help her feel less nervous about marketing her skill.

Can anyone tell me why I get so bent on cleaning and throwing stuff out in the week before and during my period?  What's up with that?  Am I insane?  Is this something anyone else goes through?  Is there any way to get some of this energy and determination for the rest of the month?

*off to get another load of laundry*

Reupholstering is now a choice for quick update? 

 (o-0)

wtf?

I'm really tired of this whole pain thing with my R leg.  It's been aching and aching lately and I've OD'd on Motrin to the point of having gastric problems.  Last night I had to take Tylenol just to be able to go to sleep.  Today I was in such pain at work that I resorted to taking some Fioricet (what I take for migraines) to make it more bearable.  I sat in the Del Taco thinking "sleepy" or "pain".  Sleepy won out.  Now I'm still sleepy, but the leg is starting to hurt again.  I hate it when things to this point! 

I'm defective.  The tinker toys didn't get assembled properly when I was put together 40 years ago.  The pain starts in my knee and then goes up and down to hip and ankle.  Therefore the whole leg gets in on the pity party.  I wish I could remember the phys therapy exercises they gave me when we lived in ND. 

I've got a Dr appt next week for my gastric problems, a dental cleaning/exam, and another massage.  No patients next week, so we don't have to go in.  I'm looking forward to it.  Maybe rest this damn leg a bit.

Scheepy, scheepy..... . . .  .  .   .     .

It gets right up my nose when ppl are paid well and still they don't work as they are expected.  Yet, they suffer no reprecussions because they are related to "friends of so and so".  Irritating to say the least.  This individual will do anything to avoid working and then cry that they have no money.  Hello?  Anyone home?  I just don't understand it.

I hate working Fridays.  It just makes life alot harder than it has to be.  At least it isn't booked to the brim.  I just want to get through the day w/out any stressors or trauma.  That and a pain free day would be nice. 

I'm going shoe shopping on Sat.  I am working on the assumption that my shoes are broken down too much to support my feet, and hence the knee problems.  Maybe I need some new arch supports as well.  I dunno.  I'm just tired of such discomfort with little or no relief.  I looked up my headache medicine last night and found out it has barbituates in it.  Can you say addictive?  But they don't rip up my stomach, they relieve the pain I'm feeling and at least I can relax and sleep.  I have an appt on Mon to talk w/a doc about what's going on with my GI tract and my knee.

Falling apart.  A week till my next massage.  *sigh*

Please make it stop hurting.  Please make my back and my leg (both right side of course) feel good enough that I can get to sleep tonight.  I don't need to be knocked out or anything or ride a wave of percocet or darvocet or something hardcore.  I just want to have the pain dulled to the point I can relax into restful, healing, refreshing sleep. 

btw, why am I falling apart all of a sudden?  Why am I having both of my chronic problems rearing their ugly heads in synch?  Is this some cosmic backlash for being full of PMS last week? 

Pain really sucks.  When it's not something you can fix or something you need to know about immediately (broken limb, sliced open skin somewhere, possibility of being burned or something your autonomic system needs to step in for) why is it necessary?

Broken.  "Miserably Malaligned".  Previously injured.  Assembly required.

Oh yeah.  Note to self.  Going down stairs is just as damaging as going up.  I was apparently misinformed previously.  I've done extensive research on the AKP I'm having and that's the general concensus.  Boo.

:(

Yay!  I made it through the week w/out chopping off my arm/leg/whatever part is hurting.  I ended up with 2 fioricet in my system last night and slept REALLY well.  A lovely thing.  Also lovely was waking w/out pain in either back or leg.  No, it didn't last long, but it was such a nice surprise to not feel pain for just a little while.

Master Robinton once remarked that, "One never truly appreciates the absence of pain".  And he was correct!!!  My arm is starting to ache again, so the spasm is still going strong in my back.  Oy!

My poor little Dude is having problems with his front teeth.  He's got two baby teeth (little, tiny ones) that are being pushed out towards his lips and they're sharp as hell.  They catch his poor little lip and he has to shake his head and make faces to unhook it.  I feel so bad for him and wish I could help.  He's like a new patient with braces!  I wish I could put some wax on it for him to make it feel better.  I did give him a wee bit of the pain meds we got for his sister when they had their surgeries last July.  I figured it couldn't hurt and might make him more comfortable.  I guess this means a trip to the vet tomorrow morning.  I think they're open from 10-12.

V and I went to the mall tonight so I could pick up those shoes I've been thinking about all week.  Sales are good :)  I got my New Balance shoes and a couple of cute pairs of socks and a new purse/backpack.  I love the smell of a new leather purse :)  V is so funny!  She makes me laugh with her observations on various aspects of life and people she interacts with.  Oh, and she was feeling the same as I was about yesterday about the priviledged treatment that some get.  It's nice to get validation.

V and I got our braces checked today and Dr wanted to take mine off!  ??  My bottom teeth were my chief complaint and they don't even have brackets on them yet.  We'll look into doing something with them after I get my crown changed.  I get to ask my DDS about that on Wed. 

We're off next week!  WooT!!!

Well, I've got a U-Haul reserved for next weekend.  I called my dad and told him to get working on getting rid of the crap in the back yard of the EM house.  Tomorrow we're going to check out the storage units here in town.  I've also set dad the task of getting a contractor to clear up and plumb/sod the back yard.  I have no recent experience with renting, but I remember most places having a stove but no fridge.  So, I'm going to take the stove out of this house and put it in the EM house and get me a new stove.  Pretty cool, huh?  I've been looking at some of the new stuff and figured there's no reason to put new stuff in a rental unit.  I'm really not happy with the whole storage unit thing.  It's going to be a never-emptied monthly bill.  But I just can't see any alternative to getting the damn place rented and earning some money.

My leg felt so much better today!!!  :D  My back was hurting quite a bit when we went to WM, so I cracked open a box of those ThermaCare heat thingeys and had C plop it on me.  I figure as long as I am buying it eventually, I can do that, right?  I've taken no pain meds today and am pretty happy about it.  Don't get me wrong, I would have loved some Motrin to get this back of mine to cooperate, but I think gastric ulcers are a bad thing overall.  I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to sleep without anything, though.  I had a nap earlier and now I'm going to have to work on getting to sleep.

Have I mentioned the eye twitch I'm developing?  I blame all this EM house stuff.  When hubby isn't in the military any longer, am I still going to have to take care of everything?  Before, it was because of the hours he works and the time he's away from home.  It's kind of irritating that his parents left us such a mess and I have to do the lion's share of organizing to fix the problem.  *sigh*  Oh well, if I want to reap the rewards of the real estate I have to do something about it. 

I didn't have to take my Little Dude to the vet today.  He woke acting perfectly normal and I figured they have lots of other stuff coming in and out on a Sat w/limited hours.  I figure if I take him in on Mon or Tue I'll have more options on getting those teeth out.  Poor little guy.  I hope they don't have to go the full anesthesia route.

*hungry*

Well, we've bought a new stove.  It wasn't exactly cheap, but it has the features I want, which is a good thing.  I gotta clean the old stove really well so it can go in the EM house.  I have planned that we can go down there and put it in the house on Tue after my Dr appt and then I can measure the windows for all the blinds that will be needed.  *must remember tape measure*  Hmmm...  I think I forgot to buy a new plug for the stove.  I don't think they come with one anymore.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Will find out tomorrow, I guess. 

Couldn't rent a storage unit today as the owner was out of town and she's the one who cleans out the empty units and gets them ready for rental.  So they're calling me tomorrow.  Hubby has a Dr appt tomorrow.  Stove is getting picked up tomorrow.  Busy day tomorrow.  And Tue.  It's a good week to be off so things can get done. 

*wanders off to make some lists for this week*

Cleaning the stove, cleaning under the stove (ewwww, how did that stuff get down there?), hooking up the satellite boxes (I need to switch one from one room to another), emptying the sink, etc.  I'm avoiding it.     Can you tell??

I rented a storage unit today.  10'X20'!!  Yeah, it's more than I wanted to spend, but considering all the crap we have to move from both houses, I couldn't see how else to do it.  Anyone with ideas, please shout out! 

I have the information for turning on the water in the house.  I've opened a bank acct for the EM monies to go in and out of.  I've gotten information for tossing out the rubbish and such.  I've tried to get K to clean out his truck (what a Disaster!) so we can go down to EM tomorrow with the stove and get measurements for the blinds.  Of course he hasn't listened to me at all this weekend to know we're doing all the move stuff on Sat.  He figured we're doing it tomorrow....  (grumble)  And then he tells me he pays attn and he just got his facts confused...  Um, yeah, right...

Already tired...

I would have loved to spend this week working studiously in my home so it doesn't look like a disaster.  Instead, I'm working on the mess that is the EM house. 

Yesterday, I wandered off to Home Depot to gather up 14 miniblinds.  I forgot the 2 electrical outlets that are needed to ground the kitchen.  I also got a conduit and fittings for the new stove, but can't hook up the stove because the builders put in a 1/2'' valve on the wall and the conduit is all 5/8''.  Now I need an adapter for it so I can get a seal.  Leaking gas seems to be a bad thing...

We drove down there on Tue to see what the situation with the garage is.  It ain't pretty.  I need to get the camera out so I can upload some pics.  (need for sympathy inserted here)  The garage is full of junk.  Full to the door.  Yeah, it's not as bad as our nextdoor neighbor's garage (he has rubbermaid bins stacked 6' high all the way to the door), but it's pretty bad.  I've ordered a bin so we can empty out the place in one fell swoop.  It's a HUGE bin!!  7' X 7' X 22'!!  But, I know for a fact we can empty the trash and crap out of the garage in one fell swoop!

I couldn't stand it.  Have to share.  Here's the job waiting for us in two days.

Um, yeah. I'm so not looking forward to any of this weekend. My eye is still twitching. Alot! And the more I think about this damn house, the more it twitches. I thank all the gods that they took care of the house mess before N mooved in a few years ago. But there's still the mess in the other house to deal with. And that whole garage. *twitch twitch*

I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist on Mon.  I'm not really looking forward to it.

This started about 10 days or so ago with me having completely black BM's for 24 hrs.  Kinda freaked me out.  I'd been having burning pain in my stomach area for months and I take lots of Tagamet.  I've had gastric reflux for years and it's usually kept in check with the meds.  I guess I OD'd on the motrin.  I had noticed that every time I took Motrin or Excedrin I would have burning nausea no matter how full a stomach I had.  This is when I started using the fioricet all the time for that back and leg pain. 

I saw my reg doc on Tue and he figured with my symptoms I prolly have a bleeding ulcer.  He was rather insistant that I see a gastrointerologist and said they would contact me with an appt within 3 days.  I've NEVER gotten a 3 day urgent appt before.  It's always been routine.  Kinda worried about what this dude is going to tell me. My doc also said they're prolly going to want to do an endoscopy to get pics of my innerds.  This really doesn't sound fun in any way.  So, the appt is Mon afternoon and I guess I'll find out what's going on then.

Hubby was referred to a cardiologist for a possible heart murmur.  His blood pressure is up again and when they were listening to his heart they thought they heard a bit of a murmur.  They also did an ekg and saw some less than normal readings.  I'm not really happy about this.  He's not really happy about this.  I don't think they've called him about a referral yet.  I don't remember if he had the whole 3 day thing or not. 

We're falling apart.  My insides are being eaten away.  He's got an iffy ticker.  I feel like my eyes have aged in the last two months so that I have to hold things further away from me to read them.  He's been told he needs bifocals.  He's not pleased by this revelation.  I told him he should be happy he wasn't told he needs trifocals.  That didn't go down well.

So today I had my bloodwork done.  I guess they wanted a CBC and a liver function panel.  How scarey is that??  My take on these blood tests is that they think I'm anemic and that I've fucked my liver up with the motrin.  :(  I also had my Tetanus shot. :(  Two sticks for the bloodwork (I have rolling veins) the TB test I had on Tue (I feel I should have them because of being in healthcare), and the tetanus shot.  Too many needles this week. 

I called the local mental health clinic where sis gets her meds and tx and expressed my concern about the Dr not wanting her to get refills on her Xanax.  I understand that he wants to eventually get her off it since benzos aren't that great for ya, but he has to have a plan of action.  Get her moved onto another medication, put her into rehab, taper her off on a set schedule or something.  She's been on these meds for 5-6 years and just telling her to go from taking 3+ per day to "only when you're having a panic attack" just doesn't seem very smart to me.  When my sis comes off the X she gets rather hard to live with.  Moody/irritable, flat expression, house bound, emo, won't help around the house unless I yell, can't cope with any changes in routine, etc.  I do wish they would talk to me about these decisions before they just jump into them.  This current situation is the reason I panicked a year ago Sept and contacted the County mental health ppl.  I have an appt with her and the new doc (they're doing musical docs because the "regular" has left practice) so we can discuss the situation.  But that's not till the end of the month.  *sigh*  I spoke with the nurse that works there and she talked to the new doc and explained my concerns and C's and he refilled her X.  This has made all of us more relaxed and I don't have to worry about her having a nervous breakdown in the meantime.  (it's sad that she has to get to cutting her pills in little pieces and counting them several times a day so she doesn't freak out)  Hoarding is so not cool.

The great garage clear out is coming up quicker than I want to think about.  I've got a course of action.  The wheels are in motion.  The reservations are made.  I have to remember to dump some folding chairs into the car so we can sit from time to time.  Hmmm.....  cooler.... sodas.....  water....   those might help as well.

It's 11:50 PM.  My stomach burns.  I fed it, I gave it a little ice cream, I took my new proton pump inhibitor, and still it is buuuuurrrrrnnnnning.  :(  Here I thought it was going to act nicely since I've got that gastro appt on Mon.  Maybe it's stress due to the job facing us tomorrow.  Yuk.

My eye twitches something terrible now. 

Bleah. :( :( :(

We spent a very large part of the day clearing out the garage in EM.  No, we're not finished.  Not by a long shot, but at least it's empty enough that we could put my car in there if necessary....  Yeah, in EM I could put my car in the garage.  Not my own garage....  But yeah... 

The dumpster is absolutely huge!  33' long!  We had a crap ton of stuff in there until a dude and his wife wanted to know if they could grab the metal things out.  Seems he runs a scrap metal business or something like that.  Or maybe he just takes metal to the scrap metal place and rakes in the dough.  We didn't care if he took the stuff since it ment we didn't have the weight or the problem of getting rid of some stuff.  He's even going to take the trailer and camper on the 21st.  I really wasn't looking forward to finding a way to get rid of those.  w00t!!  We couldn't get over how this couple combed through the crap in the dumpster to find any kind of metal scraps.  Even screws in jars.  And there were tons of screws/nails/nuts/etc in tons of peanutbutter jars.  Those ppl must have really liked peanut butter!  And that couple piled all this crap on their pickup, tied it down and drove off...  carefully.  That poor truck better not hit a bump or anything or it would bust it's axle.

We still haven't gotten to the stuff on the shelves in the back of the garage.  There is a ton of wood bits and bobs that were saved for who knows what.  We found a built in bin type of thing that was filled with. . . Sand.  3' X 4' X 2' of sand.  WTF??!!??  Hubby didn't even know about the existance of this sand bunker.  Oh, and the big 30 gallon barrel of gravel.  Gravel!!!  It's full to the top and there are some smaller barrels full as well.  I have no idea how we're going to move these items, but holy crap!  We haven't gotten to the big pile of wood FIL wanted to do woodworking on.  It's at least 4.5' tall and 5' long.

There is a TON of rat shit in there.  Gods know how many lived in there at any given time, but they left a ton of shit behind.  Pretty creepy to think we're breathing the dust in there!  Bleah. 

Ah well, tomorrow we get to get rid of the big shelf unit, some other smaller shelf units and the crap on the back shelves and in the rafters.  Oh, and the various types of lumber.  *sigh*

I'm kinda sore from my massage yest.  She had some serious stuff to move out of my back and arm muscles.  It's so nice to be able to move freely after the massage.  But I do pay for it in soreness.

Need to sleep.  Gotta be up early to unload the truck into storage and get it turned in. 

The truck is turned back in, the storage room has stuff in it from the truck, the EM garage is now more empty than any time since they moved in.  But it's nowhere near done yet. 

Today we put a big, wheeled shelf unit that had loads of paint and crap in it in the dumpster.  Thank gods N put wheels on it when he made the monster.  There was an emptying of several cases of canned fruit from the 60's and 70's that were never used.  Just stored in a hot garage for 30 years.  There's a fresh ton of crap that K pulled out of the rafters in the garage.  Almost all of them were full of his childhood toys and books and crap.  Why did they have to save baby age books?  The big bin of sand is still there.  None of us had any strength or energy to deal with that.  Nor could we deal with the gravel in the steel drum.  It's prolly a 50 gallon drum as opposed to the 30 I thought it was.  Oy!  We were just plain Knackered!  But, with the exception of the "new stuff", you can see the garage floor and walls.

I had originally thought we could get this house rented really quickly, but I'm getting further and further from that thought.  I was looking at the trim paint around some windows and realized they didn't prime the wood at all so the paint is already cracked and peeling.  This house was just painted a couple of years ago, so it really shouldn't be falling apart already.

I'm so tired.  I get to go back to work tomorrow and we have pts on Fri, so Im not feeling like dealing with this week at all.  Poor hubby gets to drive down to EM again tomorrow to get rid of that crap he pulled down.  And some other stuff here and there.

Eye-Still- *TWITCHING*!  I'm truly tired of it.  And I don't see being out of stress long enough for it to stop.

We went to Claim Jumper's for dinner tonight.  C had never been.  I wanted to go to Northwood's Inn, but she didn't like it when we went before.  The waitress misconstrued our orders and thought we ment prime rib when we said "filet".  Oh well, we got free dessert for it and she was so apologetic, how could we stay mad?

I've felt cold all night.  Not a good sign for me!  I hope I'm not catching that icky bug V had last week.

(-,-)  tired

I went to the gastro today and he also thinks I have an ulcer of some kind.  He's scheduled me for a endoscopy the first week of Mar.  I'm not looking forward to that.  He says if he doesn't find anything on that one, he'll do a colonoscopy.  Boo!

Gettin' old.  :(

This entry was typed yest, but the computer was needed by sis and I got tired, so.....

****

I've been wanting to write on here for days.  But have been either so tired or so apathetic, I couldn't manage much besides a few replies.

My feet hurt so bad today.  I mean BAD!  This happens from time to time because I have functional flat feet (I have a lovely arch to my feet as long as I'm not standing on them) and that causes plantar fasciitis.  I can't recommend it.  It really sucks.  I thought getting new shoes would help, but I think the standing last week in the garage and walking and such really put them over the edge.  Now I just have to get them rehabbed.  That ain't happening anytime soon. 

My back is starting to act up again.  I'm trying to keep it stretched out until my next visit to T, but I don't know if it will work.  I haven't had to take copious amounts of fioricet this week.  Maybe one or two doses.  I'm happy about that, but not happy I still need to take it.

My stomach is still bothering me, but not as bad as it was when I was taking motrin.  I've done a bit more research on the whole endoscopy thing.  Apparently, European Dr's don't believe in the whole sedation thing for this proceedure.  I'm very glad I'm not going through it there!  I'm not dreading it terribly.  My stomach has bothered me for years and years and I'll be glad to know what's going on in there.

Work's been crazy hectic.  I was so irritated and mad last night because of things being added in the schedule and the instrument person deciding she doesn't have to do anything in the back because she's helping out in front.  We were out of everything, but she can sit on her ass in front because she is in special status.  What a pain in the ass!

 ****

We went for Chinese food today instead of going down to my mom's for her birthday.  Apparently there was one helluva storm going on in LA when we were supposed to be on the road and she didn't want to go out in the rain and we really didn't want to drive with the crazies.  So, we're planning on going down next weekend instead.  I think it's a good thing.  Neither hubby nor I were feeling all that great.  I'm glad we didn't have a 2hr drive of drama.

I'm so tired of all this crap with the EM house.  I know we need to get it painted.  I talked to my dad about getting the blinds up and getting the bathtub faucet fixed.  I don't know what all is left in the garage besides the sand/box-gravel mess.  There are 9000lbs of bricks along side the driveway, but dad said we should keep them.  OMG!  For what?  I'm so done!

So tired.  So sore.

I am officially fighting a cold now.  Boo!  My allergies are acting up as well, so it's not a very comfortable feeling around here.  I'm trying Zicam to see if it does, in fact, help you reduce the time of a cold.  My ears itch, my throat is getting itchy and sore, my sinuses have a really stuffy feeling and my nose is runny.  This is all an after effect of V being sick and then Dr being sick.  I blame them! 

We have a short week coming up and the next week as well.  Doesn't do much for the paycheck, but it really is nice for the constitution.  That and we do need to go down below in the next weekend so I can see my mom and so we can work on the EM house. 

I'm trying to figure out if it would be better for us to paint the house or if I should get it hired out.  With our schedules only seldom meshing, it would probably be easier to get it done by someone else.  But from a financial standpoint it would probably be better to get it done ourselves.  Damn.  Sucks either way.  I doubt it would be good for hubby's asthma for us to do it now that i think on it.  Hmmm...  Something else to get my dad to hire out for us maybe.  Of course, that might take years to get accomplished.  I might have to look at the yellow pgs for inspiration.

I had very strange dreams last night.  Something about us having photos of a pt who had been kidnapped and the were going to be used to help find her or identify her or something.  Then someone had done them incorrectly (D at work) and another person had a copy of them and I was trying to get them from her.  Then that person had a friend who she knew had killed the girl and when I told her she shouldn't let the crime go unpunished she told me I wasn't friendworthy and a horrible person for judging.  Then, somehow, Dr M was involved and he was coming over with L to do something about the situation.  Like I said, it was very strange. 

Hungry.

Itchy.

Sicky.

The schedule at work was so light today (and crazy-mad tomorrow and the next day) that I got to stay home until the afternoon.  I am very glad for this opportunity to stay home and watch the various "judge shows" on TV.  I have a weakness for Judge Mathis, People's Court, Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, etc.  Is this a personal failing or just a little crazy addiction?  I enjoy seeing people air their incredibly dirty laundry in public and on TV.  They seem to have no idea that the stuff they do is unacceptable and idiotic.  Are they to be classified as guilty pleasures?

I am still trying to fight this cold.  I'm still using the Zicam.  I don't know if it is mitigating anything as of yet.  I don't know that it's not.  I just know my sinuses are icky, my nose is plugged and so are my ears.  My throat is scratchy and itchy.

I was really feeling the PMS yest.  That and we were told to let the Priviledged One do her thing in the back and we weren't to disturb her without permission.  It must be nice to be able to lie about things because you don't want to do a fair share of the work.  I know we all have our lazy days.  Or our 'just feelin crappy days", where we would much rather sit and stare at a blank wall than do anything of effort.  I get that.  It happens to all of us (doesn't it??).  But when there is standing around and yap yapping and doing the minimum to get by on a daily basis, it gets really old.  Fast.  So, with the PMS and the fallacies of work ethic and the encroaching cold, I was in a foul mood yest.  It's a wonder anyone can even be within 10' of me when I'm like that.  I hope my other coworkers aren't losing constitution points whilst I'm around.

Ah well.  The things we lose our minds over. They don't mean a damn thing to anyone else.  They won't mean anything in 100 years.  Move on.

Eye exam today. 

I need glasses.

Dr. said Happy Birthday as a reasoning for my failing eyesight.

Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a big script or anything, but still :(

*sigh*

Not all the work I was supposed to do today, but at least it's something (I guess!).  We went to HD on Fri to pick up some stuff for C's class and I got to looking at the bathroom hardware.  I've wanted a new towel bar and such for ages.  Let's just say the ones we had were original pieces of crap the builders grace every tract home with.  So I got two new towel bars (24'' and 18''), a toilet paper holder, and a hand towel holder.  Now, if I can get C to finish her artwork in there, I might have a decent bathroom again.

It was disconcerting to see the odd way the builders put the hardware in.  I had to make copious use of spackle in the towel bar area because of the plug they used for the one screw.  It was already loose in the wall and left a pinky diameter hole.  I've never used spackle before.  Oddish stuff.  In England they use stuff in a tube called Pollyfilla.  Don't go over there asking for Spackle. 

I have lots more work to do in the bathroom (incl a huge pile of laundry from the hamper).  It's disconcerting how fast the work builds up.  I had so many things I wanted to do this weekend, but all I managed was a f ew loads of laundry and the bathroom hardware.  I just don't seem to have the energy to do any thing but sit after work.  My coworkers will go home and do all sorts of stuff after work and I just don't know how they do it.  I desperately need to clean the bedroom carpet (yay puppies!), but it would never dry with all the moisture in the air.

We acquired a temporary resident last night.  C let Bob outside to do his thing and he found a playmate!  She's a SpitzXPit Bull mix.  C didn't want her to end up as a roadburger, so she put her in the back yard.  She has tags and we called the number on them and got the owner's parents.  The parents gave us his number and address, but he hasn't managed to call us back.  I'm kind of worried that he has gone on duty somewhere else since we left the message hours ago.  What if she's supposed to be living with another family while he's away?  Now what?  If he doesn't call tomorrow, C's going to call his parents again and see what else we can do about the dog's living arrangements.

My Little Dude is curled on my chest as I sit here typing with the laptop on my lap.  He feels strongly about having his time with Mommie.  He feels he has to be on my lap, in my lap, on my stomach or on my shins.  If he can't be, he gets kinda pushy and agitated.  Such a cutie.  He just got out from under the covers where he was snuggling with hubby.

I hope the boss man is in a better mood this week.  He was in a strange/grumpy mood last week and I was getting pretty agitated with him.  Like on Thu when he comes in telling us how to take records with the pt right behind him.  I suppose he's trying to impress the new pt with his barking of orders and such, but it pretty much succeeds in making us look like idiots.  Why he does this sort of thing, we have no proof, but it makes us all nuts!  He also likes to make comments if we do something wrong or don't understand something.  I mean really disparaging comments.  Not the professional sort of stuff that should be going on in the ofc.  "Who did this?  What were you thinking?  Are you kidding me?  Why would you do this instead of  blah blah?" 

It's a very short week for me.  We're closed on Fri, and I'm having my endoscopy on Wed.  I'm not complaining, but I'm also not looking forward to Wed much either.  Well, tell a lie.  I'm hoping/not hoping they see something to blame my symptoms on.  But I'm also afraid of what they'll find.  Does that make sense?

I have a load of clothes in the dryer waiting for me to put them away.  But my Little Dude is still lying on my chest/belly.  Warm and comfy and dreaming.  How can I move him and distub his beauty sleep for such mundane affairs like laundry? :)

He was in a mood today.  And we had the schedule from hell.  And V had an injured arm. And he kept adding shit to the schedule from hell.  These things don't make for a good Mon.  It took him over an hour to notice that V's arm was bandaged.  Then he got in an arguement with her over what the problem was!  I'm very tired of him acting like he's and Internal Medicine specialist, an Orthopedic Surgeon, a Tax Expert, etc.  Just sit down and do your Ortho stuff and be done with it! 

 Such a pain, our day to day lives.  Isn't it?

We have another maniac schedule next Mon, and my mentioning of it didn't go down well.  Nevermind that it's really unrealistic to put ALL the new pts in one day and leave nothing on Thurs.  When I also mentioned some other problems, I was told to leave it alone.  Great.  Let's just let the schedule go crazy.  We're told to keep an eye on it, but when we do, we're told to shut up.

I'm watching a show about anesthesia going wrong.... as in not working....  as in the pt feeling all the pain of an operation and not being able to do anything about it due to the paralyzing meds they use with the anesthesia.  OMG!  Scarey shit to be sure.  :( :(

I'm very glad the stuff they're using on me in two days is injected in the IV and they would immediately know if I wasn't in dreamland.  :(

So much went wrong with this day that I don't even know where to begin.  Maybe I just won't and leave it all alone.  Yeah, let's not revisit it.  Let's just say I was in tears after lunch. 

Tomorrow is the endoscopy.  I'm more stressed about it than I was before.  It's staring me in the face now and I'm not so pleased.  it doesn't sound fun at all  I have to have someone with me for the rest of the day.  Are they going to drug me up that much?  How feeble am I going to be?  *sigh*  :(

It wasn't bad at all.  In fact, it was far nicer than my day yest.  Anesthesia is a lovely thing.  I highly recommend it. 

The endoscopy didn't show anything abnormal, so now he wants to do a colonoscopy.  If they give me the same med for that proceedure, it'll be fine.  It's a shame they can't give us something to make the prep easier.  That crap is just awful. Oh, just completely disgusting.  Ewww!  :( :( :(

I've slept for 4 hrs since we got home.  I guess it takes awhile for the medication to leave the system.  Whatever, it's nice to not be at work and so relaxed.

Yesterday still sucked alot.  I put the wrong brackets on an adult pt.  They still work, of course, but they're not the ones she wanted.  What a fuck up!  I've never done that before.  *sad*  Yes, it can all be fixed, but it shouldn't have to be.  *sigh*  Dr is, understandably, really mad. 

I don't wanna go back tomorrow....

Only 2 assts today.  4 BB's.  various B2's and adj's.  I was run off my feet and thought I was going to keel over at one point.  Surprises about a pt.  Late going to lunch because of all the BB's.  At least I managed to get them all done for the most part.  V has a bum arm and could only do so much.  It's a very good thing I like fitting bands.  Then we're supposed to feel bad because he's "spread too thin."  Yeah, how do you think I'm feeling?  Oy!

It was far easier to deal with yesterday and being able to sleep most of the day.  For them not finding anything in my stomach, I'm sure having alot of heartburn and reflux tonight.  :(  I've scheduled the colonoscopy for next week.  K at work is supposed to be taking a Wed off this month, and I figured I should get my Wed in while she's still there and hubby's off.  I'm kind of worried about what they'll find when they go traipsing around my colon.  Can't be good if they find anything.  That's the way I look at it.  But I guess it's good to have a baseline in any case. 

I had not intended to go in tomorrow.  I wanted to spend time with hubby and get things done around the house.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently it is because I got a call after 8 tonight from Dr asking me to go in and do some work in the insurance charts.  I'm so irritated by this.  But as V says, What can we do?

Please?

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I picked up the bottle of "prep" I'm supposed to take on Tue night for the colonoscopy on Wed.  This spifty new stuff comes with "flavor packs" to make it more palatable.  I'm not seeing this happening.  Really not.  Just looking at the amount of "balanced sodiums" in that bottle and the amount of water to be added is causing me abdominal cramps.Yuk!!  Of course, it says you can't add anything sugary to the mix or it won't work as well.  Sure, something that would make it taste better is contraindicated. 

I must admit some apprehension going into this test on Wed.  Not about the proceedure itself.  They give you lovely medications! :)  However, if they didn't find anything on my endoscopy, what might they find on the colonoscopy?  Anything they find can't be good.  Ah well, if they do have to "harvest" anything, I'll know right then.  Unfortunately I'd have to wait for any biopsy results.  *sigh*

Sis and I did some errands today and got the grocery shopping done.  That leaves me tomorrow to get some stuff done around this mess of a house.  I'm too good at procrastinating and not very good at organization.  I have to put my bills on my cell phone calendar for Pete's sake!  Otherwise I'll forget they're due. 

I have the munchies something terrible.  But I'm trying to abstain!

I must have slept wrong last night because my neck is killing me today.  I can't even get the knot to stretch out at all.  So not coool! 

just call me the gimp!

You said your birthday is *******
which means you are 40 years old and about:

48 years 1 month younger than Walter Cronkite, age 88
43 years 5 months younger than Nancy Reagan, age 83
40 years 6 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 80
33 years 3 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 73
31 years 1 month younger than Larry King, age 71
24 years 10 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 65
21 years 5 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 61
18 years 5 months younger than George W. Bush, age 58
13 years 5 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 53
9 years 2 months younger than Bill Gates, age 49
4 years 4 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 44
1 year 6 months older than Mike Tyson, age 38
5 years 7 months older than Jennifer Lopez, age 34
11 years 0 months older than Tiger Woods, age 29
17 years 6 months older than Prince William, age 22

The laptop that I use daily decided to blow up.  Well, not the computer itself, but the LCD screen decided it didn't need to be lit any longer.  Apparently I'm not supposed to be able to see anything...  It took 2.5 hours for my husband to get the tech support ppl at Dell to admit that it needs a new screen and that they need to send someone out to take care of it.  Good thing we got that extra warranty...  So we now have 3ppl in the house and only one "working" computer.  It's not even in good health.  It's prone to flashing the "Blue Screen of Death" at various points.  Especially if my husband even touches one key!  I really need to call Dell one of these days and figure out what's wrong with the desktop....  but definitely not until we get the other one up and running.

Work's been hectic this week.  We got slammed this morning.  It seemed like we put bands on each and every patient we saw today.  Not really, but that's what it seemed like.  At least Dr wasn't grumpy.  One of our more "mental" patients showed up today wanting us to do dental work her regular dentist needs to take care of.  She's been very strange from the start. 

I went to my friend's gym tonite.  It's for women only and is small and cute.  It would cost the same, if not more to join that one.  And it's not open holidays and they're not affiliated with any other gyms, so I can't use the membership if I travel or move.  That and there's a 2yr contract involved.  Not cool. 

We did a killer workout in a class tonight.  I'm just sure I'm going to be too sore to live tomorrow.  I'm already sore and want to die.  It was a tough class and I didn't do half the moves or use the weights everyone else was.  Most of the people there were long time attendees and they could manage the moves, but I was a goner from the start.  In two days I'm not going to be able to pull myself from the bed.  Pray for me! ;)

Yay!  I can finally move w/out crying or grunting or groaning.  My quads have finally healed themselves from the assult of the "gym class" last Thurs.  I haven't been back to the gym ever since!!!  I should do some kickboxing today or something.  I have no desire to leave the house today, and driving the 20+ miles to the gym just doesn't compute.  My R knee is still a bit sore from the deep squats the instructor wanted me to do...  And hell, I didn't do but 2 before deciding it was bad for me. 

The laptop is still on the blink.  Literally.  The LCD screen arrived Fri, but the support dude who is supposed to put it in hasn't called.  I know it's a holiday weekend, but the Dell ppl called on Sat asking if he'd contacted us yet.  They said he should have at least called.  Now he has a deadline of tomorrow or we get to call the Dell ppl back and they'll kick his ass in gear.  I was hoping he'd come on Sat so I could see how they put the screen back together, but oh well.

I cannot believe how much we've spent on groceries this weekend.  I sure hope it lasts the month!  I'm planning on taking my lunch for the next few weeks to save on $$.  Eating out every day gets expensive, and while it wasn't a worry when hubby was working full time, he's still not hooked up a job yet. 

Yanno, I'm stressing hardcore about him not having a job.  But...  His retirement pay is far more than it ws going to be in '99.  That was supposedly his retirement date before he made rank.  I didn't have a job then.  Nothing.  I was working with alot less money and yet I'm more worried now and I have a job this time.  I guess I got used to the income level we're at now and that's quite a bit different than 6 yrs. ago.  The bills have also changed from that timeframe.  Poor old Muffin ran up a pretty big vet bill in her last few years.  Poor old girl.  I don't regret spending the money, I just wish I could have paid it off sooner.  That and the expenses we incur because of the two houses down below.  Must get that damn place rented!

This is a rambling entry...  Not sure what I wanted to say, just get some thoughts down.  Maybe if I see things in writing I'll figure out a way to calm down.....

Well, the laptop is really tits up now.  It went from having just a bad screen to having major issues booting up.  I gave up.  The computer dude was here on Fri trying to put in yet another new screen and that didn't work.  Just like we knew it wouldn't.  Now it won't boot with the monitor attached or do anything unless I press the little standby button.  The dude says it needs a new motherboard.  Something about he can't get into bios or in that line.  He's suggesting they just send a new laptop and he does a transfer of hard drives and be done with it.  I just know it was shoving screens at me saying "hardware failure" and it kept going into "safe mode".  Via con Dios laptop!

It's 108 today.  Yuk! 

I've lost 25 lbs.  Yay!  Only another 45 to go, but at least I don't have as much to lose as I used to.  Kinda burnt out at the gym.  Maybe it's the heat.  Maybe it's trying to get through a plateau.  I dunno. 

Yay, I finally got my rear back into the gym and did 65 min on the elliptical.  This time (for variation) I did 10 min forward and then 10 min backwards for the whole 60 min.  It doesn't feel nearly as stressful as when I first tried going in reverse, but it did break up the monotony of cardio.  I really didn't think I was going to make it past the first 20 min, but I kept saying "10 more minutes" and I managed to feel much better by the 35 min mark.

I had an adjustment on my braces today and boy are my teeth sore now!  OW!  I don't want to know how much it's going to hurt tomorrow.  :( 

It was 110 here today.  Ugh!  That's just not right.  I know it's summer and all, but....  And now they're threatening us with blackouts again.  They said the electricity supply is good for the next coupld of days, but then it's going to be bad.  Um, am I missing something?  It's not like you can store electricity, so how can we have some today and none tomorrow unless there's something wrong?  I don't get it.

Yep, made it to the gym today.  Did 20 min on the elliptical and then weights.  I tried to push a bit harder on the weights, but not enough to really cause damage.  So the gym was a good thing.  I had pizza for lunch.  Not a good thing, even if I did peel off the pepperoni and mop up the grease from the top.  Then I succumbed to the craving I've been having for oatmeal raisin cookies.  Mmmmm!   I've had this craving for a month now, but have been unwilling to satisify it.  I got some bread at Costco and saw the cookies and couldn't resist.  Quite yummy!  I highly recommend them!  And it's not like I took the chocolate chip cookies that have no nutrition in them at all.  *sigh*  I need to get back on the wagon! 

I figure if I am going to get down to my recommended BMI, I'll have to get down to 135.  That means I have roughly 50 lbs still to be lost.  Oy!  That means I've lost 1/3 of the amount I needed to lose at the beginning of all this back in April.  I don't know whether to be encouraged or discouraged.  :(

Today's weight, 182.  Yesterday's weight, 181.